Watch Where You Are Going!

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Pay heed to where you are heading!

A GREEN SIGNAL!

It was an early winter morning. The roads were clear but everything else was covered in white snow that was dumped by the angry storm that passed through the area the previous night.

I had in the past stopped at that traffic light so many times that my foot automatically hit the break at red and the accelerator at green without any thought. Not only this, out of habit, I'd take a turn without any conscious notice just like those habitual turns one takes on familiar roads with no mental effort!

May be it was the magic of that virgin white snow! May be it was the presence of that camera within my reach! Or may be it just happened without any obvious reason, but that day for the first time I noticed the sheer rise of the hill right in front of me blocking the advance ahead. In the past, I used to unconsciously turn the steering wheel to make the move on the green light but that day I simply could not do that. It took me a moment to consciously make that turn while the thought kept occurring in my mind....

A GO SIGNAL DOES NOT NECESSARILY MEAN A GO AHEAD!

Either one has to be absolutely sure of the pathway or pay close attention to where one is 

headed or else disaster may occur!

My Dream!

Since this morning I have been trying to resist this urge to write about my dream but my sharing sense finally wins!

So,

I had a dream...

I dreamed last night that I was praying.

I was absorbed in my prayer.

My head was on the ground and I was prostrating down and praying...

I was repeating the same words over and over...

That's when I woke up saying the same words out loud...

I was surprised to hear the words coming out while I was waking up.

I knew that I was dreaming but it looked like my whole self was physically involved in that dream.

The proof was the words coming out of my mouth!

I was saying 

Glory be to my Exalted Lord!      سبحان ربي العظيم

It was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life.

                            

My need!

NEED HIM ALL THE TIME

I cannot stop,
   I cannot cease,

I cannot break,
   I can't be at ease,

The task is huge, and me too weak,
The clock is ticking, without a creak,

Without His help, my future's bleak,
I have to ask, so I do speak...

I ask His guidance, and a righteous streak,
His mercy, His pleasure, is all I seek.

Written August 23,2013

MEHR...her right, her gift!

Mehr is the mandatory dowry a husband has to give to his wife. It is mutually agreed upon and promised during the vows of marriage. It is a woman's right.

Islam assigns the role of a protector and provider to the man in marriage. The groom has to agree to provide for his family while taking his vows whereas the bride is not asked any such question. Even if the husband is not going to be the main earning member, he still has to give some dowry to the bride. It is her religious right, a wedding gift. No amount is pre set in the religion. It should be according to her status and his means.

It is a very beautiful concept to welcome her into a relationship by honoring her with a gift. Gifts show love, grow affection and bring joy. Marriage is a bond of a lifetime between a man and a woman founded upon mutual respect and trust. Since a woman lets a man not only enter her life but her body as well, she needs more assurances of love than a man. For a man, sex is an external experience. For a woman, sex is deeply linked with trust and respect as another human being enters her body. For her, its not merely an external affair, it's much more than that. A man gives, and she receives in the depth of her flesh. Not just that, as she conceives, that internal and external experience becomes her whole being as she carries and nourishes another human being within her body, knowing that the growth within her is a consequence of his invasion. She can never be the same again. Her insides change through that conception. She changes inside out while he remains the same.

A man, no matter how sensitive or how much in love, cannot experience this union of external and internal self. He never feels that experience of receiving another human within his body (unless he is gay...but even then, he can never carry a child within).

So, to me, Mehr is a gesture of respect, a start of the future to come. Although, some scholars interpret that Mehr can be given at any time during marriage life, it is not a very accurate interpretation. The Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) and his companions always paid the Mehr at the wedding night. Most scholars now agree that it should be given before the consummation of the relationship.

Since a Mehr has to be paid at the time of divorce if not paid earlier, the people of Indian Subcontinent got this wrong impression that a large sum of money will act as a barrier to divorce. Brides' parents usually set excessive amounts of money as Mehr to safeguard against a future break up. They fail to understand the actual reason behind this religious obligation. Islam is one of the religions in which divorce is allowed although it is to be sought after as a last resort under extreme conditions. Unfortunately many Indian Subcontinental women find themselves stuck in miserable marriages because their husbands will not divorce them because they cannot or will not giver their wives the agreed upon Mehr. The only option left for these women is to let go of that gift and get a legal divorce through court.

Many men do not even know that it is a grave sin not to give Mahr in their life times. God will not forgive a man who does not give his wife her Mehr. Only she can rescind Mehr and that will free him of this obligation, but he cannot force her to do so. She has to do so out of her own free will. Many women remit the amount of Mehr out of love for their husbands when they fail to give the exuberant amounts but that completely nullifies the whole purpose of this mandatory gift.

The amount and  form of Mehr should be decided by both parties before the marriage, keeping in mind that it is a gift that is her right. A gift is given not just according to one's means but also according to the  occasion and honoring the status of the receiver. A bad or a cheap gift can actually insult a person. Same logic should be applied towards Mehr which is the most important mandatory gift a Muslim husband gives to his wife.

Working Hard to Make it Easy!

Someone said to me yesterday that things come easily to me which made me wonder when did things ever come easily to me?  

Yes, I'm extremely grateful to my Lord for the place where I'm today but I have worked very hard for it. No one knows how many times I've stumbled and fallen flat on my face. I've not kept count of the number of times I had to pick up pieces of a broken heart and start all over again. True, people have let me down over and over but then, there is my God who has never ever let me down. He is the only one who granted me everything. I've always put my faith into him. With each failure, I've gotten up with a new zest and zeal with this sense that I have to give account to my Lord one day. He is going to ask me, "Shamsa, I gave you the potential, the capability! So, what exactly did you do with it?".

That fear of failing to show a good use of my capabilities to the One who supplied them to me, is the driving force behind my endless strives. Who ever said life was going to be a walk through the garden? I'm not here on vacation in this world. It's a trial ground for me. Each and every minute counts and is precious. There's no room for slacking because the journey is very short and temporary. I have to make the best use of my time. So what if sometimes somethings don't come through? There is so much more to pick up! So what if people let me down? They are not the core reason for the steps I take or decisions I make. It's not their pleasure I seek. My goal, my focus is my Creator's pleasure. He gifted me with this life and it belongs to him alone. My duty is to live it properly and in the best way using all my faculties.

So yes, it does look like things come easy to me but only because I make things easy for myself by non stop working hard. The relentless practice makes it easy at the end but requires patience and effort. The world doesn't see the failed attempts or clumsy tries. It sees the end result. It sees my achievements but what it does not know is that I'm not creating this work for this world but for the world after!

It happens...to some, somewhere, somehow....in this World!

Fifty two year old Joe looked at the note with trembling hands and tried to read the words one more time that made no sense.

He was an average, hardworking, middle class man. He had a nine to five desk job where he had been religiously going every day for the past twenty eight years. His wife, Becky also worked in an office as a receptionist. He always considered himself a lucky man who married his high school girlfriend at twenty one and fathered three loving children with her. His thirty years old daughter was settled in a cozy marriage with two kids. His grandchildren were the highlight of his life. His twenty eight years old son lived in another State, and  was currently enjoying the temporary status of bachelorhood after a recent breakup.

The youngest son, twenty six was doing really well at the law firm where he started work a year ago and seemed to be on the right track with talks of marriage on the horizon with the girl he had been living in for the past three years. 

He and Becky had worked hard to lay the foundations of this neat family. Becky had been his life partner in every sense of the word. Eight years ago their life underwent a drastic change when their youngest son left home for college and they both experienced the empty nest phase of life. Initially, the house seemed haunted without all that teenage music and blaring television noise but soon he and Becky got accustomed to the quiet and routine. He actually looked forward to a relaxed evening after work each day. Becky and he were so used to each other that they need not interfere in each other's ways. They knew each other like the back of one's hand. Or so he thought!

He looked once again at the note in his trembling hands and tried to make sense of it.

He had left home this morning as usual while Becky was still getting ready. Her office started half an hour later than his and his commute was fifteen minutes longer than hers. This forty five minutes difference meant that they never got to see much of each other in the mornings during week days. In the evenings, she always returned home about an hour or so after him, so he was not surprised when he did not find her at home, but when he did not hear from her for almost two hours, he decided to call her cell phone. He was about to make the phone call when he noticed the note on the kitchen table. He had probably not paid attention to it since he had barely glanced around in the kitchen while gulping down the burger he had grabbed from the deli on the way home.

He suspected that she must have scribbled that she was going out for dinner with her friends when he opened the note. Nothing had prepared him for what was written on that piece of paper! Becky had written that she cared for him deeply but had discovered herself in the recent past. She wrote that she had met someone and found her true love. She was leaving him to spend the rest of her life, freely and according to her heart's desires, with her love.

He read one more time. He had no idea what he was going to do or how was he going to explain it all to his kids!

How in the world could he tell them and the world that his fifty two years old wife of past thirty one years, mother of his children and grandmother of two grand kids had left him, not for a man, but for a woman!

I Believe!

Believers observe miracles!

What are miracles?

Miracles are proof of the Divine Being!

They manifest His existence and His might.

There are two ways to observe a miracle.

1. Observe a miracle and then believe like the people of Moses.

2. Believe and then observe the miracle like people of Noah.

In the first scenario, people are shown a miracle that leaves no doubt in the minds of the observers. Although, there are always those who still deny the truth even after the evidence is revealed, many convert after witnessing a miracle. These kinds of miracles are extraordinary and rare in occurrence. 

Messengers and Prophets were given miracles to authenticate their preachings. Some miracles were given without a request and some were revealed on asking, like the she camel of Prophet Saleh (Biblical, Salah). When such extraordinary miracles are revealed to a nation in order to remove all doubt, then fates are sealed following their occurrence. Nations provoked Almighty's wrath and were destroyed when they still denied after witnessing the miracles. Pharaoh and his people against Moses is one such example.

The second scenario involves lesser degree of miracles. Here a person recognizes the Sovereignty of Almighty and believes in Him without witnessing an extraordinary miracle. This belief actually opens the believer's eyes to all sorts of miracles around him. Ordinary things appear extraordinary. He is not able to take anything for granted any more. Each and everything becomes a proof of God Almighty for him. His belief becomes the guiding light that removes all darkness and expands his vision. In this scenario, the belief is not conditional upon witnessing a miracle but gains strength by analyzing and marveling at each tiny miracle.

Be a believer & believe in miracles!