Sorry
Oh how many fall for it....every time ...
Sunday, July 19, 2015
Saturday, July 11, 2015
THIS is LOVE
Now, this is LOVE
"What was the cause of his untimely demise?"
"Cancer" someone replied through muffled sobs.
"Wouldn't have guessed! Never in my career did any cancer patient have such bright and clean teeth" the mortician went on to explain that usually in the last stages, the patient's gum become so sensitive and infected that brushing is impossible which does further damage to the already chemo effected teeth.
At that moment, every fiber in my body wanted to tell him the reason for that, but I knew that words would fail me. I was well aware of the fact that the only sound that could've escaped my tightly clenched teeth would have been heart rendering screams, and nothing else. How could a person form or lend any sense to sentences or words, whose world is coming apart at that moment? So, I did not say a single thing...but an image kept flashing behind the dense curtain of tears slipping out of my sealed eyes!
The image of my mom ....
beside the skeleton of a man, lying in bed, who was my beloved dad ...
My mom had aged beyond her age in past few months, with deep black circles around her eyes...eyes that were still wet though they had cried beyond their capacity and lips that had paled but were not tired of praying....and her hands....ahhh, I looked at those hands as she sat beside my dying father's ,bed and cleaned his teeth with those caring hands!
My dad spent the last two weeks of his life in the hospital, fighting the horrific fight against cancer, that ultimately took his life. Six months of chemotherapy never worked. My parents fought the battle with all the willpower but it was not enough. I remember my mom telling me that it was as if they were trying to support a crumbling wall by their bare hands. No effort came through and the wall collapsed.
I had reached my parents' place only two weeks before my father's death. Two days after my arrival, he was admitted to the hospital from where he never came home.
Every day, on my visit to the hospital, I would see my mom clean his teeth, painstakingly, very softly, as if handling the most fragile glass, with her expensive chiffon scarfs. She used her scarfs because those were the softest material and nothing was more valuable than the person on that bed, to her. With extreme care and time, she would gently wipe each and every tooth one by one.
The first day I saw her doing it, she told me that my father was a very religious man. Hygiene is sometimes referred to as one half of the faith, in Islam. Being a devoted Muslim, my father always took good care of hygiene and cleanliness. His teeth were always sparking like peals due to the habit of brushing after each meal. He followed his beloved Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) example who loved to brush and keep his teeth clean.
Mom said,"your father loved and always kept his teeth clean. Now that he has no strength to lift his arm, I will do his work for him" and continued her delicate task.
The story does not end here. There was much more to it than that. She had said that my father was a very pious man, and she was right. Yes, he was but so was she. They both loved their religion and their Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him).
Prophet Mohammad (Peace be upon him) died at the age of 63 years. He was sick in his last days and was unable to get up. His companions would call upon him to convey regards and greetings. One day his brother in law visited him for the purpose. Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) was extremely weak by this time lying in fever. His worried wife Ayesha (God bless her) was cradling his head in her lap. Ayesha's brother was holding a Miswak in his hand as he entered the room. Miswak is a special tree branch used as a toothbrush. It is narrated by Ayesha (God bless her) that she saw her beloved husband, Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) looking longingly at the Miswak. She understood the meaning as he had not been able to get up and brush his teeth while bed ridden.
Ayesha (God bless her) asked her brother for that Miswak and softened its dry bristles with her own teeth. Once satisfied that it was no longer coarse, she gave it to Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him), who cleaned his teeth with it. That was the last act that he performed before death as soon after, his condition worsened and he left this mortal world to meet his Lord. As per tradition of all Prophets, Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) was buried at the spot of his death, that is, in the living quarter of Ayesha (God bless her).
So you see, for me, my pious mom and dad not only believed but practiced their beliefs by trying to follow the traditions of Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him). Seeing my mom clean my dad's teeth always refreshed the incident of Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) and Ayesha (God bless her) in my mind. Like Ayesha (God bless her), my mom dotted on her husband and when he was unable to, aided and performed his duties. My father's teeth were pearly white in death because of the love of the woman who spent almost three decades as his life partner. They had a strict arranged marriage. They had not even seen a picture of or heard voice of each other before the wedding night, yet theirs is the best love story that I witnessed. They loved each other for the sake of their Lord. The love of religion brought them closer to each other and showed in every deed they performed. They taught me the best values by example. They showed me not only how to love but how to practice and honor that love.
Shamsa Anwar
Originally posted on Tuesday, July 1, 2014
https://plus.google.com/u/0/109693724428773152681/posts/dCHKK9Ft4mK?pid=6170168552636544274&oid=109693724428773152681
http://shamsasays.blogspot.com/2014/07/now-this-is-love.html
Saturday, June 20, 2015
Father's Day
A woman's love for her man
is shown by the
respect their children
Give to the father.
Shamsa Anwar
https://plus.google.com/109693724428773152681/posts/4HtSQENJeUu
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Enjoy the Happiness
There are three kinds of extremes.
In moments of happiness, some people ....
1. Hide their feelings.
2. Dance in ecstasy.
3. Fall down in prostration to thank the Almighty.
Years ago, I congratulated a person on his promotion. To me, it was a big deal but his answer caught me off guard. He whined that what was there to be happy about as the monetary gain was almost negligent and it was just a title or the rank promotion.
As I listened to him, I realized that he was the first kind. He would always celebrate his happiness secretly or find excuses not to enjoy it at all. Such people are not only introverts but they often have phobias about catching the bad eyes, bad luck, envies and jealousies. Since these kind of people do not share their own happiness, they are highly critical of others who do so. They tend to minimize their own gains and over emphasize that of others.
Watch out for such people as they would never be sincere friends.
The second group of people are the ones who make a lot of noise about every gain and accomplishment. Great party givers, they tend to attract huge crowds. They come across as generous of heart and laughter prone. They just need an excuse to super indulge.
Although fun loving, the second kind of people are at high risk of melancholy and depression. They are not good at handling losses or troubles in life. Their friendships are based on enjoyment and celebrations. They feel lonely without these two elements and fear desertion by their own crowd even in the presence of the two elements because of the fickle nature of them.
Be careful around such people. They have a tendency to suck you in by the loud noise of celebrations where you might forget the time and date.
The third kind are very spiritual kind. They are sensitive and humble in nature. They fear their Lord and watch out their actions. They are often lonely in life as there's not much celebrations or noise around them which bores the majority but they inspire awe and respect in the hearts of others.
These kind of people are great source of spiritual inspiration. They cry a lot but there is an internal peace that surrounds them.
Like any other thing, extreme of these three kinds is also not good.
1. The first kind forget to celebrate and share. They often harbor negative feelings.
2. Second kind forget the spiritual part and dwell in the worldly aspects. They often feel empty and suffer hangovers.
3. Third kind tend to forget the celebrations in their extremes.
A balanced combination of the three leads to a peaceful life.
The key is to always remember who runs the show. Be grateful to Almighty for every blessing and offer thanks, but celebrate in moderation, because sharing happiness with a good heart while saying thanks to Almighty, is also a great form of gratitude. Sincere happiness automatically brings a sprint in the steps that is a natural dance.
Share the joys with others with proclamation of gratitude to Him and be cautious of envy and jealousies because those are parts of this world.
Life is a juggle and living is an act of balancing all this expertly.
Shamsa Anwar
Saturday, June 13, 2015
Oh how I wait for thee
More than past ten months, I've waited for the date
And now that only days are left, the time is dragging on
Oh how I wait for thee my friend, for sure you come to me
With joys so pure that angels descend, down to honor thee
I forget to munch, eat or drink, such needs are secondary
The sleepless nights are on my mind, in your company
You are like so many others, yet no one resembles thee
You are the one and only one, as you are singled out
Blessed are you, the honored one, your signs and entry
You affirm my faith and give it life, like charging a battery
My heart flutters by the thought, oh how I wait for thee
Bring in all the gifts of bliss, blessings and endless mercy
Ramadan, O holy one, the favorite month of me.
Shamsa Anwar
Saturday, June 6, 2015
People in China
On a visit to China, one should be ready for the unabashed stares as they keenly watch foreigners but there's no malice or insult in those looks. They merely want to learn. Everything new amuses them. Perfect copy cats, they can imitate almost anything.
They like to stay in groups for support but they have strong sense of personal interest. It's based on the instincts of survival. Long years of one child policy has produced many who have no siblings or cousins. Being a single child of parents, who in their turn, are single child in their parents household, means not learning to share. They have to look after themselves.
Getting ahead is a big desire. There's a lot of pressure to succeed and make room for themselves in an overcrowded country. Jabbing and elbowing is common in a society that lacks the basic training of getting in perfect lines and respecting others' rights. Pushing through crowds is a general practice, necessity and habit.
All this does not mean that they rush or run. They work studiously at a slow pace. It's the secret of their success. They don't have much, so they set small goals and get happy at every little achievement. A habit of continuous effort means steadily moving forward. They succeed, taking small steps at a time and hence go a long way. Relentless in their pursuits, they never give up. Lack of exposure gives them a focused thinking. It's easy for them not to get distracted and lose sight of their set targets. Secretive is their nature but they recognize the strength in unity.
Obedience is their training but they can find loopholes to rebel behind curtains. It's very difficult to ever judge what's in their minds as they are experts at hiding their true feelings. They keep to themselves and hardly ever start the conversation with unfamiliar faces. They appear shy but it's not modesty. It's self consciousness. They are extremely sensitive to National image that emerges from a strong sense of patriotism.
Over all, they are very simple people who are learning to enjoy the outside influences. They are eager to learn and embrace. Fun loving, hard working humans. They are humans just like any other Nationality. What makes them different and sets them apart is their unique traditions, history, culture and heritage which is changing rapidly due to influx of foreign exposure and influence.
Saturday, May 2, 2015
Givers & Takers
Life is a name of give and take but some people are by nature takers just like some are givers.
The problem with takers is their selfishness. Such people are so felt focused that there is no room left for empathy. They can never be satisfied because no matter how much they take, they think of it as their right. They take advantages of other kind.
Their hearts are very narrow. It's not that they don't do good or never give but they lack compassion. There are always motives behind their acts of generosity. They also never forget what they do for others but rarely keep tabs on what others give them.
Their demanding nature is not very obvious as they are manipulators. They don't necessarily have a superiority complex. Many times they lack self confidence and their greed is based on an unending desire to be better by accumulating more and more.
They secretly compete with others and this competition is root cause of their unhappiness. They are jealous and envious of achievements of others. Their own achievements make them snobbish as they want to make others jealous of them, the same way they feel about others.
Their jealousy and competition are the driving forces behind their worldly successes if they work hard. The more they get, the more greedy they become. They use others as step stones to achieve their goals. They forget favors and take things for granted.
The givers are people who are more focused on others. They are exact opposite of takers. They drive joy in seeing others find happiness. They are facilitators. They work hard for others. They seem restless because they always strive for others but they have an inner peace. They may not appear happy as they get sad over tears of others, yet their souls are satisfied.
Givers, in general, suffer a lot. This suffering is based on kindness and good intentions. They are often misunderstood, misused and abused. People take advantage of them. Takers think of them as foolish because takers fail to understand their selfless natures.
Givers often get hurt by the selfishness of takers but they cannot stop themselves because their generous nature compels them to keep on giving. Experience and time are great teachers. Many wizen up, learn from their mistakes and find ways to stop takers from taking them for granted.
There's a majority of people who are both takes and givers under different circumstances, bringing a mix of various proportions and some balance in between.
Shamsa Anwar.
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