Saturday, May 2, 2015

Givers & Takers



Life is a name of give and take but some people are by nature takers just like some are givers.

The problem with takers is their selfishness. Such people are so felt focused that there is no room left for empathy. They can never be satisfied because no matter how much they take, they think of it as their right. They take advantages of other kind. 

Their hearts are very narrow. It's not that they don't do good or never give but they lack compassion. There are always motives behind their acts of generosity. They also never forget what they do for others but rarely keep tabs on what others give them.

Their demanding nature is not very obvious as they are manipulators. They don't necessarily have a superiority complex. Many times they lack self confidence and their greed is based on an unending desire to be better by accumulating more and more. 

They secretly compete with others and this competition is root cause of their unhappiness. They are jealous and envious of achievements of others. Their own achievements make them snobbish as they want to make others jealous of them, the same way they feel about others.

Their jealousy and competition are the driving forces behind their worldly successes if they work hard. The more they get, the more greedy they become. They use others as step stones to achieve their goals. They forget favors and take things for granted.

The givers are people who are more focused on others. They are exact opposite of takers. They drive joy in seeing others find happiness. They are facilitators. They work hard for others. They seem restless because they always strive for others but they have an inner peace. They may not appear happy as they get sad over tears of others, yet their souls are satisfied. 

Givers, in general, suffer a lot. This suffering is based on kindness and good intentions. They are often misunderstood, misused and abused. People take advantage of them. Takers think of them as foolish because takers fail to understand their selfless natures. 
Givers often get hurt by the selfishness of takers but they cannot stop themselves because their generous nature compels them to keep on giving. Experience and time are great teachers. Many wizen up, learn from their mistakes and find ways to stop takers from taking them for granted.

There's a majority of people who are both takes and givers under different circumstances, bringing a mix of various proportions and some balance in between.
                                                                                                              Shamsa Anwar.


Sunday, April 19, 2015

Sex Sells



Today I watched a reality program on tv named "Paternity Court".
The case was about a woman who was not sure if her one year old child was her ex boyfriend's...

Entertainment industry is based on shock strategy. They produce sensational news and stories to gain attention and attract viewers. After the initial shock wears off, the audience start accepting and following the trend. Before too long, the very shocking thing becomes norm. The entertainment industry searches for more spice to bring it to the setting trend in order to keep the "sensational" aspect alive, adding fuel to the hype. And the cycle goes on.

Nothing sells like sex and is a pet subject of all entertainment industry. Sex unites two individuals who become one in the moment and the act culminates in a miracle as another life is born. It's a beautiful concept but a grave responsibility that calls for maturity and a sense of accountability. 

Entertainment media should wake up and realize it's major role in shaping young minds and setting trends. It is a great tool that can promote right social values and set future patterns. 
                      Shamsa Anwar.






Saturday, April 11, 2015

Double Standards




"He's a ladies man", I quietly listened to the lady sitting in the chair next to me, proudly boasting about her son's popularity among girls, while the beautician worked on her hair. The same lady was talking about someone else, her family friend and his flirting habits in negatives terms, only a few minutes back.

It made me think how differently we look at things that belong to us. It is as if we have two visions. One rose tinted one for ourselves and a misty, dense shade for others. 

We use softer tones for ourselves and harsher ones for everyone else. A mother boasts proudly about her son being a ladies man while the same thing casts dark shadows on any other man's character. 

The difference lies in "us" verses "them" mentality.
We tend to minimize our faults while highlighting that of others. This is one of the main reasons why people refuse to see their own shortcomings. It's easy to find excuses for our own behavior and even easier to judge others. An alcoholic always denies the fact that he or she has no control. An addict always think that he or she can stop at any time and refuses help. The most difficult thing is to scrutinize our own behavior and finding mistakes. Owning up to those mistakes is the first step towards correcting them.

Deep down we all love ourselves. That is why we often fail to judge our own actions. Same principle applies to things we consider ours. Love makes us blind to the shortcomings in our loved ones. Have you ever noticed how people never see fault in their own children? It's because they love them as their own. This world would be a beautiful place if we treated others like we treated our own.

I've read reports where scientists have proven by studies that we tend to fall in love with people who resemble our own facial structures. Mirror always tells us that no one is more beautiful than us. We love our reflections. I wish we would see our reflections in others. This way, we would be able to see the unique beauty in everyone that makes the person the most beautiful one of all.

We are all human. We share the same basic emotions. Kindness, compassion, love and empathy are sentiments that are honored by every beating heart. Only if we would start practicing them. Then more hearts would be smiling and heart aches would disappear. The way our hearts fill up with happiness at the smiles of our own children, I wish that our hearts would smile the same way at the joys of every other human being. What we want for ourselves, we should wish the same for others. Whatever terms we use to describe ourselves, we should use the same for others. That lady was boasting about her son's popularity among ladies. I wish she were instead talking about his character and his chivalry, things she would expect in others.
                                                                                                            Shamsa Anwar












Tuesday, April 7, 2015

A Prayer for my Children


I can pray for every child but
I'm always at a loss, when it comes to my own.
I do raise my hands, but every time,
words feel like bars of cages 
that put constraints on the flights.
How can I ever put, bounds on infinity?
I turn to my Lord and surrender my will.
My every heart beat, each and every breath, 
my whole life....
is a prayer for my kids.