Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Monday, July 27, 2015
Depression is on the rise.
It's more common than we know.
It's more real than we realize.
And it's more serious than is taken.
It's symptoms range from mild to severe and originate from diverse sources.
Easily missed and often misdiagnosed, depression is becoming a major ailments of current era. Many people suffer in silence either due to confusion or dilemmas attached to its diagnosis.
Mild form of depression is felt by a majority, living under social pressures, one way or another. Nuclear families in the west become victims of this octopus through loneliness and solitude, as it digs it's tendrils deep into emotional Heath, while eastern counterparts attack their victims, using the complete opposite, by suppressing personal freedoms and rights.
Milder form of depression can be easily managed by recognizing the root causes, studying personal reactions, personalities and practicing meditation techniques. Family and friends can lend support as a springboard to uplift the patient's mood and spirits or one can overcome the hurdles by own conscious effort.
Social environment and pressures are not the only causes of depression. Hormonal imbalance is also responsible for depression, in which case, all above mentioned techniques work to a limited degree and fail to fully cure the patient. Chronic depression can make a person physically sick and ultimately leads toward immature or accidental death. The patient often fails to take control or realize the need to seek help. The gloom takes away the desire to exert an effort to change and the person keeps on slipping in the pits of this dark hole called depression. Suicide is a major threat as a temptation for such patients. They need major support in form of someone else who can stick through and convince them to seek help in the form of medicine and therapy.
Therapy is a good solution for all kinds of depression. It is an alternative in a society where no one has time for anyone else, to lend a sincere ear or a sympathetic shoulder to cry upon. In olden days, therapy was available in the form of aunts, siblings, ..., relatives and friends. Individualization and selfie obsessed era has made people blind to others. Each is focused on personal gratification and self. When everyone only "wants", then who is going to give? Everyone is in need of love and affection but no one is willing to halt and render as they are in a rat race to gain more and more. This never ending thirst for more is producing major dissatisfaction, giving rise to depression.
Sunday, July 19, 2015
Saturday, July 11, 2015
THIS is LOVE
Now, this is LOVE
"What was the cause of his untimely demise?"
"Cancer" someone replied through muffled sobs.
"Wouldn't have guessed! Never in my career did any cancer patient have such bright and clean teeth" the mortician went on to explain that usually in the last stages, the patient's gum become so sensitive and infected that brushing is impossible which does further damage to the already chemo effected teeth.
At that moment, every fiber in my body wanted to tell him the reason for that, but I knew that words would fail me. I was well aware of the fact that the only sound that could've escaped my tightly clenched teeth would have been heart rendering screams, and nothing else. How could a person form or lend any sense to sentences or words, whose world is coming apart at that moment? So, I did not say a single thing...but an image kept flashing behind the dense curtain of tears slipping out of my sealed eyes!
The image of my mom ....
beside the skeleton of a man, lying in bed, who was my beloved dad ...
My mom had aged beyond her age in past few months, with deep black circles around her eyes...eyes that were still wet though they had cried beyond their capacity and lips that had paled but were not tired of praying....and her hands....ahhh, I looked at those hands as she sat beside my dying father's ,bed and cleaned his teeth with those caring hands!
My dad spent the last two weeks of his life in the hospital, fighting the horrific fight against cancer, that ultimately took his life. Six months of chemotherapy never worked. My parents fought the battle with all the willpower but it was not enough. I remember my mom telling me that it was as if they were trying to support a crumbling wall by their bare hands. No effort came through and the wall collapsed.
I had reached my parents' place only two weeks before my father's death. Two days after my arrival, he was admitted to the hospital from where he never came home.
Every day, on my visit to the hospital, I would see my mom clean his teeth, painstakingly, very softly, as if handling the most fragile glass, with her expensive chiffon scarfs. She used her scarfs because those were the softest material and nothing was more valuable than the person on that bed, to her. With extreme care and time, she would gently wipe each and every tooth one by one.
The first day I saw her doing it, she told me that my father was a very religious man. Hygiene is sometimes referred to as one half of the faith, in Islam. Being a devoted Muslim, my father always took good care of hygiene and cleanliness. His teeth were always sparking like peals due to the habit of brushing after each meal. He followed his beloved Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) example who loved to brush and keep his teeth clean.
Mom said,"your father loved and always kept his teeth clean. Now that he has no strength to lift his arm, I will do his work for him" and continued her delicate task.
The story does not end here. There was much more to it than that. She had said that my father was a very pious man, and she was right. Yes, he was but so was she. They both loved their religion and their Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him).
Prophet Mohammad (Peace be upon him) died at the age of 63 years. He was sick in his last days and was unable to get up. His companions would call upon him to convey regards and greetings. One day his brother in law visited him for the purpose. Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) was extremely weak by this time lying in fever. His worried wife Ayesha (God bless her) was cradling his head in her lap. Ayesha's brother was holding a Miswak in his hand as he entered the room. Miswak is a special tree branch used as a toothbrush. It is narrated by Ayesha (God bless her) that she saw her beloved husband, Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) looking longingly at the Miswak. She understood the meaning as he had not been able to get up and brush his teeth while bed ridden.
Ayesha (God bless her) asked her brother for that Miswak and softened its dry bristles with her own teeth. Once satisfied that it was no longer coarse, she gave it to Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him), who cleaned his teeth with it. That was the last act that he performed before death as soon after, his condition worsened and he left this mortal world to meet his Lord. As per tradition of all Prophets, Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) was buried at the spot of his death, that is, in the living quarter of Ayesha (God bless her).
So you see, for me, my pious mom and dad not only believed but practiced their beliefs by trying to follow the traditions of Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him). Seeing my mom clean my dad's teeth always refreshed the incident of Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) and Ayesha (God bless her) in my mind. Like Ayesha (God bless her), my mom dotted on her husband and when he was unable to, aided and performed his duties. My father's teeth were pearly white in death because of the love of the woman who spent almost three decades as his life partner. They had a strict arranged marriage. They had not even seen a picture of or heard voice of each other before the wedding night, yet theirs is the best love story that I witnessed. They loved each other for the sake of their Lord. The love of religion brought them closer to each other and showed in every deed they performed. They taught me the best values by example. They showed me not only how to love but how to practice and honor that love.
Shamsa Anwar
Originally posted on Tuesday, July 1, 2014
https://plus.google.com/u/0/109693724428773152681/posts/dCHKK9Ft4mK?pid=6170168552636544274&oid=109693724428773152681
http://shamsasays.blogspot.com/2014/07/now-this-is-love.html
Saturday, June 20, 2015
Father's Day
A woman's love for her man
is shown by the
respect their children
Give to the father.
Shamsa Anwar
https://plus.google.com/109693724428773152681/posts/4HtSQENJeUu
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Enjoy the Happiness
There are three kinds of extremes.
In moments of happiness, some people ....
1. Hide their feelings.
2. Dance in ecstasy.
3. Fall down in prostration to thank the Almighty.
Years ago, I congratulated a person on his promotion. To me, it was a big deal but his answer caught me off guard. He whined that what was there to be happy about as the monetary gain was almost negligent and it was just a title or the rank promotion.
As I listened to him, I realized that he was the first kind. He would always celebrate his happiness secretly or find excuses not to enjoy it at all. Such people are not only introverts but they often have phobias about catching the bad eyes, bad luck, envies and jealousies. Since these kind of people do not share their own happiness, they are highly critical of others who do so. They tend to minimize their own gains and over emphasize that of others.
Watch out for such people as they would never be sincere friends.
The second group of people are the ones who make a lot of noise about every gain and accomplishment. Great party givers, they tend to attract huge crowds. They come across as generous of heart and laughter prone. They just need an excuse to super indulge.
Although fun loving, the second kind of people are at high risk of melancholy and depression. They are not good at handling losses or troubles in life. Their friendships are based on enjoyment and celebrations. They feel lonely without these two elements and fear desertion by their own crowd even in the presence of the two elements because of the fickle nature of them.
Be careful around such people. They have a tendency to suck you in by the loud noise of celebrations where you might forget the time and date.
The third kind are very spiritual kind. They are sensitive and humble in nature. They fear their Lord and watch out their actions. They are often lonely in life as there's not much celebrations or noise around them which bores the majority but they inspire awe and respect in the hearts of others.
These kind of people are great source of spiritual inspiration. They cry a lot but there is an internal peace that surrounds them.
Like any other thing, extreme of these three kinds is also not good.
1. The first kind forget to celebrate and share. They often harbor negative feelings.
2. Second kind forget the spiritual part and dwell in the worldly aspects. They often feel empty and suffer hangovers.
3. Third kind tend to forget the celebrations in their extremes.
A balanced combination of the three leads to a peaceful life.
The key is to always remember who runs the show. Be grateful to Almighty for every blessing and offer thanks, but celebrate in moderation, because sharing happiness with a good heart while saying thanks to Almighty, is also a great form of gratitude. Sincere happiness automatically brings a sprint in the steps that is a natural dance.
Share the joys with others with proclamation of gratitude to Him and be cautious of envy and jealousies because those are parts of this world.
Life is a juggle and living is an act of balancing all this expertly.
Shamsa Anwar
Saturday, June 13, 2015
Oh how I wait for thee
More than past ten months, I've waited for the date
And now that only days are left, the time is dragging on
Oh how I wait for thee my friend, for sure you come to me
With joys so pure that angels descend, down to honor thee
I forget to munch, eat or drink, such needs are secondary
The sleepless nights are on my mind, in your company
You are like so many others, yet no one resembles thee
You are the one and only one, as you are singled out
Blessed are you, the honored one, your signs and entry
You affirm my faith and give it life, like charging a battery
My heart flutters by the thought, oh how I wait for thee
Bring in all the gifts of bliss, blessings and endless mercy
Ramadan, O holy one, the favorite month of me.
Shamsa Anwar
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