A SILENT STRUGGLE

It was by accident that I stumbled upon his secret. In an emotionally weak moment the wife let out the closely guarded secret. I could not believe and asked her twice if what I had heard was indeed true. I had known the family for some time now and could never, in a million years, have imagined this about the husband. To me, he was a popular, successful, charming friend with a man next door appeal. What I did not know or could have ever imagined was:

He was born 80% deaf of hearing!

He was diagnosed with a 80% hearing deficiency in his childhood. He could hear 20% of all sorts of frequencies without a problem but he could not hear 80% other frequencies at all. If played at full volume, he could pick up a few vibrations but at normal pitch, it was difficult for him to catch them. In his childhood, the doctors informed the heart broken parents that there was no cure or even hope of a cure for such a birth defect.

The most amazing part was that his defect did not show at all. To all appearances, he was a healthy, normal and a very happy child. No one could have guessed his handicap. He was intelligent and smart.  The parents did not want to disclose his problem to anyone and it became a secret over time as he soon learnt how to lip read to overcome his hearing problem. This did not mean that his life was easy. He had a rough childhood where no one understood his dilemmas, his fears and his shortcomings. So much so that at times, his own loving parents would end up scolding or slapping him for not picking up the phone on ringing or opening up a door on a bell. He coped so efficiently with daily life and normal routines that it was very easy to forget about his struggles.

A sensitive soul, he did not share his inner struggles with anyone. No one knew how he longed to hear a hummingbird sing or the sparrows chirp. No one knew how difficult it was for him to understand at times why people suddenly started running to evacuate the buildings or malls because he could never hear the sound of that blaring fire alarm. He read about all these things in books. He never discussed with anyone how he always guessed at the spoken words by hearing a fraction of the whole sound. He had never, in his whole life, heard the complete sound!

He kept all this inside. He never shared it with a soul, not even his wife. I guess, God made him stronger that way. It was his own way of putting aside his constant hurdles. He faced them without showing them, without wearing a tag to get sympathy. He was too honorable to get pity from anyone. He created a small world for himself where he was most content. He worked hard to overcome difficulties in life. He competed with perfectly normal people and out did them without ever revealing his weakness. I guess, when God deprives a person from one, He sharpens that person's other faculties. In his case, it sure was the case.
He led a most normal, happy and successful life with God's blessings.

His wife made me promise that I would never discuss the secret with him. (She did give me permission for this blog). I'm never going to but I cannot help marveling at his humble nature and extraordinary abilities every time I meet him. I will never do it but there are times when I want to approach him and salute him. I want to tell him how much honor and respect my heart holds for him. But I guess, somethings are better left unsaid!