Manipulators

Manipulators

 I think most humans are born with some traces of manipulation. It is present in small children, who can bend situations to their advantages. Even the infants try to have their way by this means, once they can sense the benefit of throwing tantrums around company. It's a natural human instinct which is based on a desire to dominate the situation. If unchecked or fed into, this instinct, like most selfish human instincts, can become a vice that engulfs the entire personality of the individual. It is this kind of, out of hand, intentionally nourished manipulation that I am talking about, and not the innocent, benign kind that almost every human being inherits to some degree but learns to keep in check as a responsible adult.

Manipulators are self serving and self absorbed individuals. Most are not easily recognizable as they camouflage their true natures very well. They are masters of twisting any circumstance, and milking almost every situation, to their full advantage.

Some handle factors before the events occur so that they can have the desired results but almost all manipulators are experts of turning any given situation in their favor, regardless of whether they created it or not. For this purpose, they are can easily shift sides, gear or loyalties. They are not sincere to anyone but to their own motives and are always looking for chances to profit. The self serving obsession keeps them alert and attentive to grab every opportunity and ways to benefit and advance themselves. This shrewd selfishness guarantees an unforgiving and vengeful nature. Harboring contempt adds more fuel to the burning desire of keeping tight hold on all strings.

Most work subtly, and are generally docile in appearance. They are very rarely front runners, as they prefer to hide their true natures behind facades of good and proper manners. Only a keen observer can understand the exact mechanics of their techniques. This is because the manipulators portray as if the situation arises by itself in their favor or that the circumstances automatically happen, without their influence, in a way which suits them. This desire to appear innocent, is one of the reasons that many, despite their constant and relentless efforts to advance themselves, are not very high achievers. Deceivers are basically cowards. They are simply not brave enough to own up to all their efforts out in the open because it would reveal their conniving nature to others. 

At this point, I again feel a need to point out that manipulation in itself is not a bad thing when done for a good cause. Generals plot to overcome enemies, rulers think of ways to lead, etc. I am not talking about people who contemplate ways in accordance with their duties. I am discussing those people whose sole purpose is to further themselves. Not every effort of the schemers bears fruit but the disappointments don't dismay them. It is an ongoing struggle to mold everything to their bidding. In their absolute success, they become worse tyrants and dictators but for majority of the rest, their exact character remain anonymous.

Their deceit is so well plotted and disguised that most people are unable to detect it, except the ones who are directly afflicted by it. The poor victims are then left bewildered as to how to convince others of this wrongdoing. The suffering individuals find themselves alone and hurt. Their loneliness in the domain of such feelings, make them prone to psychological dilemmas. Unable to find any solid proof, some people lose confidence in their instincts and start doubting their own judgements. The invisible wounds of such victims do not heal easily and leave deep scars.

Manipulation runs in the blood like an addiction. They do it habitually and simply cannot live without it. In their quest to control every situation and turn it into their favor, they overlook who might get hurt in the process. In most cases, their intent is not to hurt others. They are so focused on themselves that they have no time to compare or weigh in the personal gains versus collateral damage to others. In cases where the personal gain may be very insignificant and any other rational person may not even give it a thought, they would still go ahead and play out their part with full deliberation, simply for the personal satisfaction of commanding everyone else and having an upper hand.

The tireless need to plot and scheme makes them hungry to gain knowledge of everything and everyone. They are disturbingly nosy people but quite often come across as sympathetic listeners. Others easily trust their well mannered, timid personalities. The biggest shock comes when they are in a situation of absolute power. That is when their closest allies are likely to get hurt the most by their selfish actions.

I have always maintained that we have no control over the choices others make. Everyone is free to indulge in their freedom of right, to be whoever they want to be, but  that should never hinge on suffocating or taking away the same rights from others. Since it's difficult to prove most manipulations, the best way is to avoid contact with such people whenever possible. In case, avoidance is out of question, understand their nature and don't be a puppet in their hands. But the foremost important thing to avoid, is becoming one ourselves.

It is essential for everyone to avail all opportunities but it is absolutely more crucial to always be a mindful human being in the process and never do any injustice, of any kind, to anyone.

(Shamsa Anwar)