Meddling or Helping?
I have a friend, not very close to me but whenever she visits, she opens my cupboards and tries to take over charge in everything, to the point that she’d open the doors for other guests, see them off to the car when they leave. All this without my asking for it, or her being very close to me.
She’s not an exception.
Some time back, a lady came to visit, at the gate got my mail from the mailman, on the way checked every sender and then questioned me on various ones. It was only the second time that she was visiting me and although there wasn’t anything to hide, I felt awkward.
It reminded me of an incident in high school when a newcomer in my class went through my school bag during recess, while I wasn’t there. I felt violated.
There are many who have such habits. Some do it with good intentions, and others with not so good intentions. A lot do it unintentionally as a habit. In some cultures, it’s ingrained in the society to the point that it’s considered a right of others of interfere in private matters.
There’s a thin line between being snoopy and being helpful in regards to actions but a wide gap in intentions. Former is meddling while the later is aiding. The first one imposes where the other respects. The reason that the gap is not obvious to the observing eye is the similarity in actions. The person whose privacy is invaded often finds it difficult to curtail the aggressive behavior of the other person in a nice way. This imposed help is sheer hypocrisy in many cases.
As the world is becoming more global, too much interaction is opening up doors for information, awareness and learning about others. It’s also offering opportunities of stalking, meddling and interfering. It’s becoming a dilemma where to draw the line as boarders are blurring and with this, comes confusion and tensions as many try in desperation to define the new limits or save the old ones. The person more careful, lawful and morally conscious always suffers in the chaos.
There is a dire need, to be mindful of others’ needs and to reach out to help, since the world is suffering but under no way, the rights or privacy of others should be compromised. The training starts at home, in childhood. We need to learn ourselves and teach our children through practice, the difference between meddling and helping out.
Let’s make the world a better place, starting with ourselves.
Shamsa Anwar.
