I know what you did!

He was on the stretcher in a room. It was temporary because the staff had gone to arrange for the room and paperwork with my mom and brother. I and my husband were with him. 

He asked for water. There was no water in the room.

 His wish was always my command. 

I looked in the corridor everywhere, there was no water fountain. I was conscious of my non covered head. I came back. Begged my husband to go further, ask someone for water. He was reluctant. I insisted. He went. 

I could see dad trying to say something. He could not talk. I could not understand. I was frantic. My father had asked me for water and I was not able to get it for him. 

My husband went and came back empty handed. I tried to convince him to go once again. 

I noticed father was using every bit of energy to say something. He said ... You go.

I could not stop. I forgot everything. Like an insane person, I ran in every direction.

Saw cafeteria sign. Went in there. Asked for water. I thought it would be free. The guy said I had to pay. I told him I could pay later. He would not listen. I told him about my dad. He won't understand saying hospital should provide for the patient.

I ran back to the room. Asked my husband for money. He had a credit card. I ran back with the card. The guy said they did not take cards. I was going out of my mind. I took out my engagement ring, gave it to him, begging him for a bottle of water. He returned the ring with the water. Said keep both.

I started running, shouting back that I would pay for it as soon as I get the money from home. Which I did.

I put the bottle to dad's mouth. He barely wet his lips. 

I was thinking. He could not drink. He MADE me get it. 

He knew I would get it at all costs. 

He was trying to teach me not to rely on anyone. 

Not to depend on any other. 

He was sending a message. 

He could not talk. 

He did not know if I would ever get the letter he had written two years ago and which was buried in his files. 

I knew at that moment, seeing him look at me, what he had done!He had shown me my own capability. 

I had done what my own could not. 

He had shown me my own determination and resolve.

He was trying to teach me to rely on my own judgement and power.

He was telling me I could do anything I wanted if I tried.

                                                                                         Shamsa Anwar

Melt in Love

MELT IN LOVE

Valentine's week ended with a lots of love quotes and shares on social media. A verse struck a cord during all that love talk. Someone had shared a verse "melt, melt slowly in my arms" and that gave me a pause to reflect and think.

What does it really mean?

After a long deliberation, I think I understood it's persuasive nature.

It's the game of wooing.

This is something which I wouldn't know because to me, there is no holding back in love. There's no slow melting. It's an instantaneous melt as if a candle is placed on the burning stove. Love demands that. It's the power of love that takes away all other senses of resistance.

Persuasion is needed where there's a lack of willingness. The person falls head over heels in love. The state is pure liquid form where one molds exactly according to the dictates of love. No question remains of slow melt or friction.

                                                                                                  Shamsa Anwar

SISTERS

I looked at my smile...

As a twinkle in her eyes...

And I understood!

What I had been searching for...

Making friends and many foes...

Yearning years in the rows...

The connection and the ties...

Once I had known it up close...

Now, miles are in between...

The time has played the role...

Yet it was never gone...

I saw her after years,

For a blink of an eye...

And I understood...

Nothing can ever take it away...

Me sister is my best friend.

Art & Photo @ Shamsa Anwar 2015

HAPPINESS

HAPPINESS

Everyone wants it. They spend lives searching for it, running after it.

People treat it as a goal. It's not an end. It's a passing yet a recurring phase, the memory of which lingers on. 

It's a state so addicting that one yearns for it all life.

What is it?

It's a sense of satisfaction.

It's an experience where one feels most natural.

For many it's a mirage. They run after it yet it eludes them.

Most associate this state with fulfillment of desires. 

Some think of it as dreams coming true.

Basic problem is the approach.

Worldly satisfaction through exchange of money is never going to bring an everlasting state of happiness. 

Humans forget their nature in the pursuit of their desires.

 Their core understands the fickleness of this world. 

The soul is never satisfied by the physical comfort purchased at its neglect. 

Mortal body is going to decay at death. It's the soul that will carry on. 

Until and unless we satisfy that soul, we are never going to achieve true happiness that brings in peace. 

That joy lies in answering the call to our true selves.

Recognizing and fulfilling our responsibility, duty and rights are the pavements of the road to true happiness and satisfaction.