Witness The Miracles All Around!

There are times when it seems like all doors are closing in one's face. People call it desperate times. Desperation attacks rational thinking and often times irreparable damage is caused by making wrong decisions under such circumstances. It happens quite often and it happens to us all. When such moments arrive, no advice matters and no logic makes sense. People usually turn in desperation to all possible sources at hand for help and are often faced with rejection, adding to an already burning inferno of despair. The only thing that can save a soul in such extremes, actually comes from within.

That is the time when metal is tested and stance is measured. It's easy to break, cry and complain. It takes courage to gather all wits and stand firm. Firm on one's belief in the Almighty. It is the time to put full trust in Him. These are times when one should let go without giving up. Turn to Him and confide all the worries to Him and then sit back and watch the magic. Just keep doing the right thing and have faith. That's when miracles happen. They might not happen overnight. They might not happen with a bang but they will happen. The only condition is that one puts complete and absolute faith in Him. Opportunities will come knocking at every door and the doors will start opening without knocks. One will be rewarded many folds from incomprehensible directions.

Sounds simple! It is. For those who believe. Not so, for those who don't. It's as simple as that.

The believer observes miracles and finds strength in dire conditions. A believer discovers blessings in catastrophes. No, the believer is not a sadist. A believer does not enjoy pain or misery but when faced with such, is still able to count the blessings like Prophet Ayyub (Job). It sounds impossible but it's not and its the miracle shown to the believer. This ability to still be able to count blessings and be grateful is the backbone of a true believer. It is one of the most beautiful blessings of all. In the absence of this one ability, even the most blessed of  people will not be able to find peace.

Everyone is born with this ability to be grateful. It's inherent in human nature to turn to a super power, higher than him/her. Religion guides us to recognize this Supreme power. Problem occurs at times when some humans meddle with the divine message and try to modify it according to their worldly desires and motives. Once soiled by the mortal hand, the divine message becomes blurred and incomprehensible to human mind who turns to another human authority for further explanation. If this authority is the one who had altered the original message in the first place, then instead of clarity, more confusion is instilled. The human authority, empowered by the blind follower brings in more changes and before one knows it, a blanket of complete confusion engulfs the entire original divine message.

How to avoid this situation.

Read, learn and understand your religion. Do get help from scholars, but research, find and follow the authentic ones. Do not follow blindly. Do not stick to tunnel vision. Read and study with open mind. Think, compare and comprehend. Believe from the heart and with conviction, not because of family, tradition, popularity or culture. Every soul has a direct connection to the Creator. Almighty loves every child He created and is willing to save that child. He gives freedom of choice but sent guidance in the form of divine message. And this is every human being's duty to recognize, grasp and gain this guidance. It will show the person all the miracles at all times.

It was thus DECREED!

Someone once asked me if I have ever wondered what my life would have been if I had made different decisions or actions. At other times, I have been asked if I wished my life to be different.

I told them. NO.

I have this firm belief that no matter what decision I might have made or what course of action I may have taken, my life would have run the same course, on the same pattern because it is not me who is making those decisions. Someone else is pulling the strings.

One might try what one can! If God does not want one to have it easy, nothing will go right. But if God wants to bless someone, nothing can hinder that. All the hurdles will start disappearing!

In my case, I had to lead a difficult life....so I did.

I often think about this movie whose songs I love!

Safar (journey)

I love this movie I watched as a teenager a long time ago.

The hero finds out that he has cancer. He makes arrangements for the heroine to marry a wealthy man who loves her. The hero and heroine have never expressed their feelings to each other but they were neighbors and they had old friendship. Heroine feels let down but realizing he wants her to marry, marries the other guy who dots on her. They have a good marriage. The hero distances himself from them. He does not want her to know the reason why he did not marry her.

One day the husband finds a letter in his wife's closet by accident. Letter is addressed to the hero and reads that she is unhappy, cannot stay in that house another day. In the letter she also asks the hero that she is willing to run away with him, so he just need to tell her the day and time.

The husbands is heart broken that his wife feels that way and is not loyal to him.

What he does not know or gives his wife a chance to explain is this...

The letter was written by the hero way before their marriage, even before he learnt about his illness. He wrote this letter as a practical joke to get her in trouble with her family. Since she had feelings for him, she did not rip the letter after the joke was over and put it in her keepsake box where her husband found it years later and thought that she wrote it recently.

The husband leaves her.

Years go by....until she meets the hero in a hospital on his death bed.

She had no idea he was ill. He did not know she had led a lonely life. 

Why the story?

Destiny!

He tried to save her from the pain of losing a loved one. He tried to control fate. He thought she would suffer with him but would be safe and happy with a healthy, wealthy guy!

Irony.....she had to undergo the pain of losing a loved one. She had to lead a lonely life. Changing the path did not change the struggles that were decreed for her.

Never waste time wondering what could have been or would have been. Do not get trapped in the vicious cycle of self pity and remorse.

Whatever has been decreed, will happen, no matter what!

So accept your fate and make the best of what destiny brings your way.

You can watch the songs on the following links: 

The hero sings this song after he is diagnosed with cancer.

http://youtu.be/fu6K10pjKu

Translation of the song "Zindagi ka safar" ( Journey of Life)

The journey of life

Which kind of journey is this?

No one could understand, No one could comprehend

Which kind of track is this?

Every body walks on it but

No one could understand, No one could comprehend

We gave a lot of love to life

But we'll also love death with the same loyalty

We came to this world crying

But We will leave this world with a smile

But where will we go? Does any body know?

No one could understand, No one could comprehend 

There are some lifes which we didn't live

We died before we can live those lifes

There are some flowers which didn't bloom

Autumn came before those could blossom

My eyes are worried (I'm in state of distressed), All carers/supporters exhausted

No one could understand, No one could comprehend

The journey of life

Which kind of journey is this?

No one could understand, No one could comprehend

http://youtu.be/s3CLZZM3BRk

The song husband sings after marriage!

Movie: Safar

Singer: Mukesh

Lyrics by: Indeewar

Music: Kalyanji and Anandji

Translation of the song "Jo Tumko Ho Pasand"  (what you like)

I will speak what you like

If you refer to day as night, I will refer to it as night too

I would have died long ago if I didn't had your company

In my life, all desires are fulfilled by you

I will refer to life as your gift

If you refer to day as night, I will refer to it as night too

I will speak what you like

I will love, obey and praise only you

I will look at you as long as I have vision

I will tell you my hearty feelings

If you refer to day as night, I will refer to it as night too

I will speak what you like

Honey I'm Home!

Honey I'm Home!

A broad smile touched his lips and his stomach growled as he stepped out of the car while the garage door closed. He could hear the mixed orchestra of the working machinery. He could tell that his wife was running the vacuum cleaner while the dishwasher, washing machine and the dryer were busy doing their assigned jobs. The exotic aroma reaching all the way from kitchen across the mud room to the garage increased his already healthy appetite.

All this activity meant only one thing that his wife had gone to the ladies luncheon that afternoon. He felt happy that for next couple of days, she would be busy polishing her silver, rearranging her crystal pieces and doing her best to bring household in order. It always happened whenever she returned from those so called friendly lunch gatherings. The tv would get a rest and movies would remain unseen while she would try out new international food recipes. He had to admit that she was really good at it. His stomach's growl and his watering mouth at the smell of her cooking bear witness to the fact.

His smile faltered as he recalled what awaited at the end of those next days. He knew the prologue was going to start after dinner today when she would casually tell him about the new rock on the finger of the latest wife of his boss. His boss had not wasted any time moving in with the lady right after he divorced his second wife and married her within a year. He knew that his wife was going to remind him that his boss could afford this piece of jewelry despite paying two alimonies. After a few days the nagging would start. She would keep reminding him that she needed to buy another piece of jewelry. He would remind her of the mortgages, the equity loans, car loans, and all the various credit card bills that keep on increasing. His mouth tasted bitter with the thought of all those upcoming arguments. He also knew that at the end she was going to have her way. She always did.

She would get on the quest to find the best possible, finest jewelry item she could afford on installments. She would plan the next luncheon with careful attention to the minutest detail, making sure that his boss's latest wife attend it and then wear her trophy to show it off. He also knew that the boss's wife would go home after the luncheon and tell her husband about the jewelry piece. He could clearly hear the envy  in her voice and picture the emotion on his boss's face. 

He felt his appetite returning at that thought. He realized that it was all worth seeing that emotion on his boss's face. That would be a moment of triumph. Oh yeah, no matter how fickle, how short lived that moment, he would work all those extra hours, take those extra loans,to have that moment, to show it off to his rival. And with this thought and a smile on his lips, he opened the door and called out to his wife; "Honey, I'm home!"

Written, Wednesday, August 28, 2013

He Lived A Life!

The notification in my Facebook says that it is his birthday today. I look at the smiling face in the picture on the screen and fight against every urge to write on his wall, still, I cannot help keep staring at his image. My stubborn heart is constantly reminding me of all he did for me and for others. How he was always the first one to wish me on my birthdays and at all other occasions! How he never missed to call me! Not just me, he always remembered everyone's special dates and forever participated in their happiness with open heart.

He was just perfect!

One of the finest human beings I have ever met! I think he was everything that is desired in a human. He was good natured, loving, kind, gentle, witty, wise, caring, educated, smart,...everything except that he was unable to do anything on his own. He was completely dependent on others for his needs. So much so that he had to call someone at night to turn his sore side in bed!

His name was Mohammad Ahmad. He was the middle one of three siblings. One of the prettiest babies, he won everyone over with his smiles and giggles right from the beginning. His journey of struggles started as he began tripping over as a toddler. He was diagnosed with Muscular Dystrophy at the age of two which opened the doors to a never ending series of doctor visits, medications, hospitalizations, prayers and wishes.

It was an emotional roller coaster with the maximum ups, downs, loops and turns. It was a ride full of adrenaline rushes, screams, excitements, pain, promises and tears. His parents tried every possible measure that was out there or anything that they could think of or was ever suggested. They got the latest meds, top notch specialists, even took him overseas to different countries for treatment, but nothing worked. Each new medication ignited new hope that soon ended in disappointment. They even turned to non conventional measures in desperation. Someone recommended a spiritual healer whose supplications worked wonders. When they asked the healer to pray for Mohammad, he said that Mohammad should pray for him instead, as Mohammad was a soul as pure and innocent as angels.

It's not easy to raise handicapped children in developing countries. There are no facilities to make life easier for them but Mohammad's parents outdid themselves in their zeal to provide the best for him. They enrolled him in one of the best schools so that he could get proper education. When his fifth grade teacher turned down the request and refused to move the classroom to the ground floor, his father personally carried him in his arms to the second floor, daily, as there was no elevator in the building.

Years went by, Mohammad kept on growing. His body grew but his ability to maneuver and control steadily declined. The day came when he could barely hold things in his grip. All this but his spirits never wavered. His parents bought him a computer and made arrangements so that he could use the computer with his one hand. That computer became his lifeline. He actively communicated with everyone through Internet.

He designed his parents new house himself. Each and every corner was built according to his vision. He was the mastermind behind every little detail and decoration. His biggest wish in life was to see his older brother get married. He personally selected the match for his brother and was the happiest person on the day of the wedding.

Few months after the wedding, one night he chatted till the wee hours on net with his friends and his younger brother who was in his bedroom upstairs in the same house. He said goodbyes around three in the morning. An hour and a half later, his younger brother came down to check on him and he was gone.

Mohammad died but he is not dead. He lives through his legacy. Whether the Facebook notification reminds us or not, we will all remember him. He touched every soul he ever came in contact with. He was a light whose radiance will remain and illuminate our hearts forever. We miss him but at the same time we know that his suffering is over. His life was painful and extremely difficult but very precious. He taught us all how to live! He lived in that wheelchair and later in that bed but he lived a life way better than many able bodied persons, because he lived with a smile and with courage. He lived a life!

I Wish....

I get sad when I don't get what I want but the truth is that getting my wish come true scares me a lot. It's not that I don't get happy or not enjoy it. I thoroughly enjoy my blessings but with a lot of apprehension in my heart. The root cause of this mixed emotion is my faith. I love my faith....I have full faith in the most merciful God.

I don't feel let down when I don't get what I want because I know that He is watching over me. He knows what's best for me and He has something better in store for denying me my want. 

I get scared when I get my wish because I know that I will be held accountable for it. It is a favor from my Lord and a responsibility. Getting what I want points out that the light is on me! Although, He is never negligent of us as He is all knowing but now I'm more in focus! Just like a person becomes more visible as he climbs higher up, same way, a person becomes prominent when showered by God's favors. His actions, reactions, conduct and behavior are more eligible for scrutiny. The realization of my own shortcomings scare me. I have no doubt in my God's mercy, it's my own self I'm scared of. I'm afraid of forgetting to thank Him enough in the moment. I'm scared of being not responsible enough to handle the blessings properly.

This does not mean that I should stop wishing. Wishing is my right and mandatory to show my servitude to my Lord. It reflects upon my  belief that only He can give me. Life is a gift from Him but it is also a trial. There is trial in failure and success of one's wishing. It's a trial of faith. When nothing makes sense and despair approaches with it's poisonous fangs, only faith can save us from plunging deep down in the dark pits of depression. It's not easy! But then who ever said life was easy? 

Sometimes life does not make sense. It does not have to make sense, because faith gives one the satisfaction that there is a higher power that's keeping account of all and will make fair judgement. His justice is not blind because He sees it all. The knowledge that not all accounts are settled in this lifetime but are mainly balanced later on, lends the peace one requires to carry on in turbulent times.

The tougher trial is when someone is granted the wishes! This is a trial most humans fail. It's easier to forget the Creator in the moment of achievement. It is when the strength of faith is really tried! Civilizations, empires and kingdoms fell when success went to their heads. Nations were replaced when they became arrogant in their glory and forgot the trial, forgot that God is favoring them and putting the spotlight on them. It's a moment of humility, not of pride! 

Our trial is to hold on to faith. Remember The Lord at every moment. Turn to him when down and more diligently when up. Never forget our beginnings and end. Keep wishing as it is our duty but be mindful of what we wish for while always counting our blessings.

21 & Above!

The Dazzle21 & Above!

He woke up to the smell of his own vomit by the roadside. He had no idea at what point last night had he fallen in that ditch. It was absolutely not how he had envisioned this morning to be, not even remotely close. Yesterday was his twenty first birthday. He had been planning and looking forward to yesterday for many past weeks.

His conservative parents had blindly trusted their obedient son as he had lied to them last night. He had always done everything by the book to their knowledge. He had even accepted their advice after high school and was going to the nearby college while residing with them. They had no idea that a year into college things had taken a turn. He had met a few peers who had introduced him to some forbidden pleasures in the coming years and those same friends had made arrangements to make this birthday a special occasion to remember.

He had met his friends at the night club with a racing heart. His fingers trembled with nervous excitement when he touched the ID card in his pocket that felt like a trophy validating his triumphal entry. Although he had crossed some limits in the recent past but he still was a virgin and despite all the peer pressure he had, so far, avoided the taste of alcohol. Tonight all of this was about to change. 

He immediately liked the girl his friends had brought along and whom he had striped naked in his imagination many times over within a few minutes of Introduction. She seemed all game for it with her seductive touches and flirty moves. Soon the champagne bottle appeared and was opened. He remembered the first sip of alcohol and how he had tried to hide his dislike for that taste in loud laughter and tried to finish the whole thing in hasty big gulps. He also remembered that his friends kept on filling his glass and he kept on raising his voice.

Everything was going as planned with all the fun, laughter and the girl in his arms when suddenly he had a vision. No matter how hard he had tried after that, he simply could not shake that vision out of his mind. He tried for some time and then abruptly got up. His friends were so busy making out with their own girlfriends that no one even noticed and the girl with him probably thought that he was going for a leak.

He had left the noisy bar and wandered aimlessly like a lost soul for hours before passing out in a ditch alongside a road and that's where he had found himself in the morning. He held his throbbing head in hands and tried to recall last night's events. Everything else was a little hazy except that vision and a clarity. With absolute surety he knew that his life was going to be haunted forever by that vision like a ghost and he was never ever going to taste another sip of alcohol in his life.

In his vision he had seen a boy turning twenty One. This boy was no stranger to alcohol. In fact he was hooked on to drugs, a junkie and had already impregnated numerous girls. He was celebrating his twenty first birthday at a joint with a hooker dancing in his lap. An old man stood a distance from the boy in that vision. The old man's back and shoulders were bent as if he was carrying an unseen heavy burden. The old man's wrinkles were wet with tears and an unbearably excruciating pain was written on his face.

That vision had shook him to the very bones. The boy in his vision was his unborn future son and the old man was his dad who was praying his night prayer at the very time of the vision! He knew that for the rest of his life he was going to do everything possible to make sure that this vision remained just that, a vision and did not turn into reality.

Written on Saturday, August 31, 2013

The Vanity!

     I saw her bending over and felt like a crystal glass had just slipped through my fingers and shattered to those million tiny little pieces that can never be pieced back together. I had a déjà vu feeling mixed with a sense of irreplaceable loss. With a sadness  I realized that I was not really surprised at the surprise. 

I looked at the figure bending over in front of me and tried to recall all the reasons for which I had put her up on that pedestal in my thoughts from where she had taken a plunge in this past instant!

     I had met her a few months back and she had won my heart over with all her finesse, manners, and talk of humanity. She had come across as a genuine person with her merry go round nature. She seemed like a compassionate person with her easy ability to laugh and cry at the smallest of things. I admired her artistic taste and friendly nature. Now, looking at her bent back, I felt a stab near my own heart trying not to feel this much hurt. Was I disappointed in her or my own judgement? I pondered! 

     We had gone to visit our mutual friend who had just moved into her just finished grand new house. Our mutual friend was giving us a tour of her mini mansion. My friend started talking about the time she had built her own house and reminiscing the experience. She started emphasizing the importance of quality and brand names. With an air of ostentation, she stated a brand name that she had used in her own house and bend over to check the brand name carved at the bottom of the tap in the bathroom sink of our mutual friend. I wanted to stop her but failed to even make a move. she bent over and my illusion fell, like a crystal glass slipped through my fingers and shattered into those million little tiny pieces that can never be pieced back together.

Written on Tuesday, September 3, 2013

The Very First Sin!

Many say pride was the very first sin! There are others who take Adam & Eve's fall in the Heaven as the first sin!

To me, it was jealousy!

There are three levels and stages when someone finds another one better!

1. Number one stage is appreciation. It is the stage of recognition that the other person possesses something better. This recognition can be direct or indirect. In direct recognition, one can sense the superiority of the other without anyone else pointing out or bringing it to attention. In many cases, this initial stage takes place in the form of appreciation and in its mildest form can be quite healthy and necessary in social settings.

2. Second stage is envy. Envy is also not bad because in this stage, a person recognizes the superiority of the other person and wishes to attain it. In its mild form, envy is competitive and can be the source of motivation, but in its strong form, it can bring in negativity.

3. Third stage is jealousy. There is a very thin difference between strong envy and jealousy. Jealousy is the worst stage of all because here the jealous person not only recognizes the superiority of the other and wants it but also wants to take it away from the other person. Sometimes, it doesn't even matter whether the jealous person will get it or not. All the jealous person wants is to take it away from the other person and that is why it is so vicious and evil.

 Let's talk about the first sin!

Lucifer/ Iblis had never denied any order of his Lord before he was asked to prostrate down to Adam. His pride made him refuse but there was another reason behind his actions. He did not deny God's authority, but refused His command because Lucifer could not stand Adam's superiority. He simply could not digest the fact that another creation could be better than him. He was jealous in that moment! He was jealous that Almighty had created something better than him and had chosen to bestow more ability on this being created out of mere clay and water.

He did not ask for forgiveness once Lord cursed him to hellfire. He asked for respite! His jealousy made him oblivious to the fact that he could have been be saved. He wanted revenge! He wanted respite so that he could mislead as many humans as he could to take with him in hellfire. Such is the nature of jealousy!

He was again jealous of Adam and Eve enjoying the bliss of Heaven. He could not stand the thought of them living peacefully. They had no trouble with him. They did not think or care about him, but he could not let them be! He was not going to gain anything tangible by their fall from the Heaven but his jealousy wanted satisfaction in revenge.

To me, number one root cause of all evil is this thing called jealousy! Jealousy breeds everything negative! It wants to destroy everything! There is absolutely no shred of compassion in a jealous heart! It burns and wants to burn the rest! It is an Arsonist in flames that torches everything in its path.

In today's world of Information age and fast media, envy is thriving everywhere. Morals are down and controls are loosened, two most effective ways of reining in the beasts of deep envy and jealousy. No wonder the world peace is at stake! Lucifers are out everywhere! Humanity is scared as it should be! It's times of deep danger. Watch out for JEALOUSY!

All she wanted was to be his WIFE!

"I am glad she was not alive to hear the words because they sure would have killed her"; I thought, looking at the dead body of my friend lying in that hospital bed.

Three weeks ago I had flown over to India to be with her during her last hours. Now, I looked at her peaceful face and suppressed the cry that wanted to escape my clenched teeth.

She was born to an aristocratic family. Intelligent, witty, brilliant and headstrong is how I'd describe her. Full of laughter and energy, she always got her way. I met her during one of my trips to India in my childhood. We instantly bonded and  over the years we became best friends through letters, phone calls, her visits to London and mine to India.

I still remember her joy when she met her soulmate in the university and married him against her whole family's advice. They wanted her to finish her education and have a career especially since he was from a very mediocre background with no secure future in sight. I had my own apprehensions but her happiness washed away all fears.

The first time I saw her mother in law was during her wedding ceremonies. She reminded me of a hawk looking for a prey with her piercing eyes and a constantly stern expression fixed on her face. She scared me. I felt more scared for my friend as her widowed mother in law was going to live with her since my friend's husband was her only son. I earnestly prayed for her happiness and successful marriage with all my heart.

She tried to hide it but her financial struggles were obvious to me when I next visited her after four months. Her pride stopped her from confiding but I could see the blisters on her untrained hands that had appeared there as a result of household chores. The dark circles under her eyes revealed the secret of many sleepless nights. Her attempts at pleasing her mother in law every two minutes in conversation and asking her approval for every decision, left no doubt in my mind as to who was the boss in that house. It pained me to see my free spirited friend act like a frightened chicken around this woman.

I tried to see if she would discuss the situation with me somehow, but her manner suggested that she would not let anyone tread on those private grounds. I respected her resolve and backed off. The thing that satisfied me was seeing the sparkle in her eyes every time she looked at her husband. It was very obvious that he also loved her dearly.

Two months later I got the shock of my life that took the ground from under my feet. My mother called me to inform that my friend was pregnant. It should have been the happiest news but before I could feel the first oncoming of joy, my mother continued to tell me that she was going to die! I could not believe what I was hearing. How was it possible? Apparently she had a condition like cancer which had remained unknown till now but the change in her hormones due to pregnancy had brought it out and there was almost no chances of survival. Only remote chance was if the baby was aborted in the first trimester but there were no guarantees. My friend had sternly refused any talks of an abortion. She wanted to bring the baby in the world. It was the legacy of her love! She wanted this baby for her husband, for his mother!

She completed her pregnancy like a brave fighter. Her health deteriorated but her spirits soared. She refused to spend the last days of pregnancy at her parents house, the common Indian tradition. She wanted to spend every minute at the place she called her own, her husband's house. She chose the mediocre hospital because it was through her husband's insurance. She did not want to use her parents' money. She was through and through her husband's wife.

She gave birth to a beautiful daughter and died after two weeks. I had been with her as she peacefully took her last breath and closed her eyes. The doctors logged the time of death. Her mother in law reached the hospital a few hours later. The first thing she said to her son was, " tell the parents to arrange for her Kafan. Kafan should be provided by the parents". Kafan is the Muslim burial shroud for a person.

I heard the words and froze at the spot. Part of me was glad that she was dead, otherwise these words sure would have killed her!