Body, Mind, Soul

There are two situations when two individuals are so close that they become one.
The first one is, naturally, the birth and nursing. A child is flesh and blood of a mother and the nursing time is when the connection is once again established, even after becoming two individuals. But this relationship is one of dependency. The child is completely dependent and later, on growing up, has no memory of those moments.
The second situation, is the most unique, and the first relationship ever established between two individuals.
It is the act of mating. It's the unity of two consenting adults, committed and in love. In the act of coupling, two individuals can be as close as possible. When this act is done with consent, with an adult, in love, then the moment of climax is actually a moment of bliss in which the individuals experience the feeling of utter completeness. Nothing else matters in that moment, except a sense of fulfillment. That moment is so intense, so profound and the feeling so beyond words that people go to extremes trying to achieve that blissful feeling.

From the beginning, the pursuit of that joyful moment has driven people. Some call it love, some satisfaction. It's a feeling everyone wants in their lives, but often fail to understand its true complicated nature. The most obvious gratifying nature is physical. The achievement of pure physical joy. To many that is enough. Hence, at times, crimes take place and illegal means are used. For some, it's a means to reproduction. In that case, the physical pleasure is taken as an added bonus. In both scenarios, the focus is more on personal gratification.

We humans are not merely flesh and muscles. We are a combination of body, mind and soul. The physical pleasure turns to bliss when all three variables, mind, body and soul of both adults mate in the moment. The concept is so perfect and pure that certain cults are based on the mere concept of that but unfortunately they miss the point. It's not a cult. It's pure love. Love demands unity of body, mind and soul. If you take any of the variables away, then the joy is incomplete and a void is felt. The couple still enjoy the rest of the variables but cannot achieve the total blissful satisfaction.

On the floor

https://plus.google.com/109693724428773152681/posts/29zX9X2LDRB

Experience of A Lifetime!

There were no previous plans to go visit the place but the signs looked so inviting that we changed our plans and diverted the route to go visit Clayton park. The biggest attraction was the dinosaur footprints. Now, tell me seriously, which parents with small kids, would miss out on such an opportunity?

The day started like any other day, except with a lot of enthusiasm. The excitement in the car kept on building with the recalling of every known dinosaur name and facts. The kids were engaged and adrenaline was rushing with expectations. It was a good family ride.

We made a stop in a small town on the way near noon time. The staring eyes of every resident in that small town betrayed their unfamiliarity with foreigners. We might have been US citizens but our skin color, accent and manners always made us stand out in small towns. We are no strangers to stares but those stares in that small town rattled us somehow and we breathed a sigh of relief on exiting that place.

The sigh of relief was short lived. We had resumed our journey towards the destination but still could not shake off that creepy feeling. In fact, we started feeling uneasy about a lot of other intangible things. Being used to long road travels with small kids, we were accustomed to all sorts of road conditions and weathers. We had travelled jam packed with traffic and also passed areas without company for hours on stretch. Rain, storms and hurricanes...nothing had worried us the way we started feeling on that particular day.

We were going towards a national park but there was no one, and I literally mean no one on the road. We drove hour after hour and not a sign of a single living soul in sight. The vista was extremely wide with green pastures all around and the road was visible in both directions for miles and miles on stretch but no one in either direction. One often experiences such isolated travels on the great planes of America but there was a strange feel to that particular ride. Usually, one starts seeing company near tourist attractions but there was no activity at all on that route.

This phenomena became even more peculiar on entering the park itself. There was no one at the gate, in the parking lot or anywhere else we looked. Our first instinct was to get the heck out of there but then we thought about all the effort and miles traveled and decided to explore the park on our own. There were signs of directions posted everywhere, that we thought, could be easily followed to explore the park.

We left the deserted parking lot and started walking on the pathway that had the signs indicating the direction of the dinosaur footprints. We took several immediate turns following the signs. A few minutes and turns on the path and another strange experience happened. I felt chilling winds on my right side while my left side felt hot humid breeze. The contrast of the temperature gave me goosebumps and I felt a chill run down my spine. Holding my younger child's hand, I tried to catch up with my husband who was leading the way holding our other child's finger.  Still trying to catch up with him, I noticed that the path had become so narrow that two people could hardly walk side by side. Not only that, there was a deep ditch on the left side of the path. I don't remember any railing. If there was any, it might have been so low that I did not notice it. There is no other explanation that comes to my mind.

I caught up with my husband but could not walk beside him due to the narrowness of the path. By now, the clashing temperature experience was forgotten since my main concern was to keep safe on the path. My husband and I had barely started the conversation whether we should continue on the path or return when hail started to fall. All of a sudden the sky became so dark that we could barely see a few feet ahead. Meanwhile the intensity of hail increase. I'm not kidding, some of the hail was the size of mini golf balls. We could not even hear each other's voices over the screaming winds and tapping of the hail.

The main problem was how to go back. Low visibility meant that we could miss the signs that we had followed earlier and take wrong turns back. Same thing faced us while going forward. We were rooted to the spot not knowing what to do. Our full focus was trying to save our terrified kids from the hard hitting hail. We had to find a shelter but how and where?

That is when we noticed them! We saw something in that diminished visibility that we had not seen in all clarity a few minutes back. Within an arms length, we saw a family with kids that was moving in a crouched way. Somehow their manner and confidence suggested that they knew exactly what they were doing and were familiar with the area. On impulse we followed pursuit, in manner and in direction. Bending our bodies over our kids and almost doubling over like them, we blindly followed them to a picnic shed. The hail was falling like a firing squad on the roof of that shed and the howling winds were throwing those giant balls of hail inside the shed on us.

Mimicking the other family, clutching one child each in our arms and shielding our crying children with out bend over bodies, we crawled under the benches.
The storm was at its peak. The walls and roof of the shed seemed to give way any moment. The noise was deafening and at that point the chances of survival looked extremely bleak. My life flashed in front of my eyes and I seriously thought about death and the end. No one in the world knew where we were as we had changed our plans and switched routes at the spur of the moment. We had no cell phones and no contact with the rest of the world. The thought occurred of letting the video camera run so that someday, someone might come to know what happened to us. It was a thought that I could not even implement as my hands and energies were engaged in saving my children.

Then, just like it had started, the storm stopped abruptly. Again, we followed the actions of the other family as they crawled out from under the tables. We were too shook up to say a word but noticed the other family. They were an elderly couple with two small children. They appeared more like grandparents in age to those kids. Without uttering a word, the elderly couple started retreating their steps. We followed pursuit with no clue of direction. Don't know if it was out rattled nerves or storm's doing that we could not see any signs around. We just silently followed the elderly couple leading the way in front. We had heard the children with them scream during the storm under the shed but not a single sound had escaped those elderly lips.

Another turn and relief coursed through our veins on finding us in the parking lot.

Strangest of all things happened at this point. My husband and I had looked at each other with relief and joy at finding ourselves in the parking lot. When we looked back, there was no one in front of us anymore. We looked and our eyes wandered in every direction for the other family but there was no sign of them. It was as if they disappeared in thin air. There was no car in that empty parking lot except ours. No sound or trace of any human being around. We looked again and again but no results. There was a dead silence everywhere. In a hurry, with a speed we didn't know we were capable of, we changed our and our children's wet clothes and left the place.

The road was visible in both directions for miles and miles on stretch. The vista was so broad that any vehicle could have been be spotted for a very very long time and from very far distance....but there was nothing, no car or sign of anyone anywhere.

We had traveled many times in the past before that day and several times after that incident on the road, we travelled long distances and short ones too. Over the years we experienced many things and went through a lot but nothing comes closer to that day...the day we faces death in the face!

 The mystery still haunts us about that family whose voice we never heard...who appeared out of nowhere in front of us in a storm and disappeared in thin air after the storm. One thing is for sure, whoever they were, they were God sent because they saved us that day. Without them, we were lost that day. Whoever they were, they were our angels that day!

Over Exposed

Over Exposure!

The first time I ever saw a dead body was my grandma's. It was her hand that I saw which was out of the sheet that was covering the rest of her body. I was a young college going girl but I had never seen a dead human hand before that time. The image is inscribed in my memory forever.

It was a strange experience. I felt emotions that were beyond comprehension at that time. It took me time, age and maturity to fully understand why the image was so shocking to me.

Of course, there was grief. My grandma was old and not in perfect health, still, her demise came as a surprise and a shock but there was another emotion at work when I looked at that body. It was the sense that there was no life left in that hand anymore. The emotion felt very much like a shudder. No, it was not the fear of death. Death is a reality and what I felt was the feeling of facing that reality in the face the very first time. Before that day, it was always a distant reality, heard of or seen being acted out on silver screen. Now, it was so up close that I could almost touch it....not the death itself but a body that contained it.

Years passed by....

In recent years, I have seen and still see images of dead bodies and of chopped up body pieces. Dead bodies of children, mutilated bodies of adults or blown up corpses on news channels, social media and news papers. It always give me a pause. I notice that although it pains, saddens and moves me deeply to see such images, the nature of the shudder is different. I shudder not so much on the visuals but more about the human cruelty or the pain suffered. Seeing so many images has  reduced the shocking element. My eyes have become accustomed to them, though my heart has not, but it makes me wonder if somewhere along the way, it reduces the overall compassion and concern? Is that why there is so much apathy these days? Is it because we are desensitized to human suffering and pain in general?

There is way too much exposure these days. Not just adults but children are being exposed to graphic details. They are growing up with images that give goosebumps to mature minds. These children are taking too many extremes as norms. They are being desensitized by this over exposure at a very young age. They don't get shocked very easily. They have seen too much which makes me question, "where is all this heading?".

ASTONISHING MOMENT

WHEN YOU STAND UP FOR YOUR VALUES & TRUTH

We were in line at the airport to board the plane after Hajj.

The Airport security man was pushing, every woman and man in line, by a harsh shove of his hand and a yell to move forward.

It was my turn when I saw my husband step forward, point a finger at the man and say,

"You better not lay a finger on her."

The man looked confused and I froze in terror.

I grew up in Saudi and had known it to be a strict police state.

Saudi authorities were notorious for throwing people in jail for anything small they found provoking. This man here, looked so rude and was already behaving rashly.

My husband is usually a very easy going man who rarely raises his voice. His reaction had caught me in total surprise. I had no clue what had overcome him. 

All these thoughts crossed my mind in a fraction of a second.

I heard my husband repeat to the man caught in shock,

"I'm telling you, you better not touch her."

My heart missed a beat. I was sure of the doom that awaited. I closed my eyes, clenched my jaws, dug the nails in my palms to get prepared for the worse.

The next minute the impossible happened.

The man stepped aside and let me and my husband pass with a silent astonishment.

"I Love U"

"Your husband will probably kill me but I have to say that I fall in love with you a little bit more, every time I hear you."

I heard him say the words to me. 

It was not the first time I was hearing such words. 

I knew they were harmless words of appreciation.

I had just ended my speech regarding God, so no way, he was disrespectful or flirting....

Still, the words made me pause for a second.

How easily we use these words now a days. Not just words of love but of hate, as well.

In the East, the words "I love you" used to be very sacred. The first time I ever uttered those words were for my husband after marriage. No, I never used them for even my parents or siblings as there was no need for it. The love I shared with my family was so deep and practical that it did not have to rely on words for self expression. The actions said it all. Same was true for friendship. 

I did use them for my husband because that kind of love was unique and needed special expressions. It was a relationship like no other and the one that did require explicit declaration of love, though, in the East, even that is often expressed shyly, in the privacy of a bedroom only.

When A Woman Lets You Hold Her

WHEN A WOMAN LETS YOU HOLD HER

When a woman lets you hold her...

She entrusts you what belongs her

She walks straight, with head held high...

"She is safe", whenever that grip assures her

She wants the world to see you two..

As she is yours, when you are all beside her

She will not walk ahead of you but, that...

does not mean, you can push her or drag her

It is not merely that body, you touch...

She lets you caress the soul of her

No longer can she see herself, as one...

Forlorn, the picture thus eludes her

Do not shatter the dream, my friend...

Your hold can truly make her or break her

When a woman lets you hold her...

Cherish, for you are now, a real part of her

Her Surprised Decision

Sixteen years and three children later, he said to her...

"Yes, I am having an affair with another woman.

Don't be a conservative...go find an interest elsewhere!"

She stood rooted though he had pulled the rug from under her feet.

She fought, pleaded, reasoned, argued....and said in the end...

"Marry and make an honorable woman out of her. 

I cannot see you sin. 

For me, there can be no one if not you. 

I will not get a divorce....

I want to keep the door open for the father of my children."

She learned the basic difference in the natures of man and woman.

She had given him all. He was her everything. 

He had everything, yet he wanted some more.

She had never imagined that she would share her husband with another woman but that day, she made a decision that even surprised her. 

Four Floors Apart

A shiver ran through me as I stepped into the hospital elevator.

Only a few months ago, I had spent five terrible days on the twelfth floor.

My physician friends had tried, teased and slightly mocked me.

They said, there was no need for me, to stay.

Nothing in the world would make me leave.

Leaving the kids with others, I stayed right there, beside him.

On the twelfth floor!

The cardiac floor!

The floor where they tried their best to find out...

Why my husband's heart was acting, in that strange way?

It was not his age....

Nor were there, any other obvious roots!

The nurses were sure gorgeous, but still not the cause.

His heart had gone wild, way before the bed baths ;-)

Five days, did I say? 

They were centuries...of turmoil and pained thoughts.

I'm so glad that the nightmare was over, after five days, with a cure at hand.

Today, in the elevator...

A thought occurred to me...

Eighth and twelfth were only four floors apart,

Yet the emotions on both floors were two poles apart.

While scare touched the heart at one...

Just four floors down, joys where at large...

With a smile of my own...

I pushed the lighted number...

To go see the baby of a friend, on the eighth floor...

That was where, a new life was at it's start.

SUCCESS

Success!
People measure it in terms of wealth, property or money.

Sometimes it's associated with achievements. Medals, positions or titles.

Family, children or friends are indicators of success for some.

Happiness, most certainly, is attached to it a lot.

Attainment of one's goal is defined as success but the most interesting definition I found was "the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors".
They all made sense but seemed incomplete.

I felt that those were shallow definitions of this multifaceted term. There was much more to it than that. Something was missing...and then it came to me..

Contentment is success. Coming to terms with one's own self is the biggest success. Doesn't matter if the world thinks of a person as a failure. As long as that person is at peace with the inner self, s/he is successful in this life.

THE CHASE

She smiled a lovely smile at me...

But once she got my attention...

She mocked, teased and ran away!

Insulted, shocked and daunted...

I took on her pursuit, bewildered...

How come she was running away?

She was mine and I was hers...

Surely our fates were entwined...

How could she throw it all away?

I ran and ran, after her, obsessively I ran...

Like a passion, I followed her...

She had to know, I wasn't going away!

She turned around and came to me...

Smiled that capturing smile of hers...

And murmured, "Who was running away?"

She put her arm around my back...

Whispered, "Darling, I'm your destiny ...

Look back and see how far have you come away!"

I turned around, acknowledged and smiled...

She whacked me then and sprinted ahead...

"Come, I have to take you far far away!"

Innocence Sabotaged

A SILENT STRUGGLE

It was by accident that I stumbled upon his secret. In an emotionally weak moment the wife let out the closely guarded secret. I could not believe and asked her twice if what I had heard was indeed true. I had known the family for some time now and could never, in a million years, have imagined this about the husband. To me, he was a popular, successful, charming friend with a man next door appeal. What I did not know or could have ever imagined was:

He was born 80% deaf of hearing!

He was diagnosed with a 80% hearing deficiency in his childhood. He could hear 20% of all sorts of frequencies without a problem but he could not hear 80% other frequencies at all. If played at full volume, he could pick up a few vibrations but at normal pitch, it was difficult for him to catch them. In his childhood, the doctors informed the heart broken parents that there was no cure or even hope of a cure for such a birth defect.

The most amazing part was that his defect did not show at all. To all appearances, he was a healthy, normal and a very happy child. No one could have guessed his handicap. He was intelligent and smart.  The parents did not want to disclose his problem to anyone and it became a secret over time as he soon learnt how to lip read to overcome his hearing problem. This did not mean that his life was easy. He had a rough childhood where no one understood his dilemmas, his fears and his shortcomings. So much so that at times, his own loving parents would end up scolding or slapping him for not picking up the phone on ringing or opening up a door on a bell. He coped so efficiently with daily life and normal routines that it was very easy to forget about his struggles.

A sensitive soul, he did not share his inner struggles with anyone. No one knew how he longed to hear a hummingbird sing or the sparrows chirp. No one knew how difficult it was for him to understand at times why people suddenly started running to evacuate the buildings or malls because he could never hear the sound of that blaring fire alarm. He read about all these things in books. He never discussed with anyone how he always guessed at the spoken words by hearing a fraction of the whole sound. He had never, in his whole life, heard the complete sound!

He kept all this inside. He never shared it with a soul, not even his wife. I guess, God made him stronger that way. It was his own way of putting aside his constant hurdles. He faced them without showing them, without wearing a tag to get sympathy. He was too honorable to get pity from anyone. He created a small world for himself where he was most content. He worked hard to overcome difficulties in life. He competed with perfectly normal people and out did them without ever revealing his weakness. I guess, when God deprives a person from one, He sharpens that person's other faculties. In his case, it sure was the case.
He led a most normal, happy and successful life with God's blessings.

His wife made me promise that I would never discuss the secret with him. (She did give me permission for this blog). I'm never going to but I cannot help marveling at his humble nature and extraordinary abilities every time I meet him. I will never do it but there are times when I want to approach him and salute him. I want to tell him how much honor and respect my heart holds for him. But I guess, somethings are better left unsaid!

THE NIGHT WE SLEPT WITH...

YOUR EYES

There's something about those eyes that whenever I look in them, I get drowned.

CANNOT FORGET

Not sure if the insult was directed at me, I turned around to see the raging old lady lurching towards me, waving her finger and shouting...
"Go back to where you belong. Leave this country....."

A decade had passed since 9/11 incident in United States and no one, not even in the fresh wake of the tragedy, had anyone personally insulted me for being a Muslim. There were many incidents that took place right after 9/11 and some Muslim women even took off their head coverings (Hijab) in fear. I had heard about reports of such happenings but had never experienced any discrimination myself.

Stunned beyond belief, I stood rooted at the spot where I was about to enter the departmental store while the woman continued her rant. For a brief moment, I felt like retaliating in defense but in the end, I simple turned around and walked inside the store.

Shaken to my core, I could not shop or concentrate even at work afterwards.
My coworkers sensed the difference and on learning the details, were outraged. Each one of them, unanimously said that I should have retaliated and talked sense into that lady. That's when I realized...

That lady was in pain. In that moment, she had crossed the limit of reasoning. No amount of logic was going to make a difference or change her mind that I was not responsible for the atrocity, or my religion for that matter. How many interfaith dialogues had taken place ever since? How many efforts had been done to educate the world about the peaceful message of Islam since after? How many times had it been reminded that Islam existed in the world for over fourteen hundred years before 9/11 and no one called Muslims terrorists before that date?.....

I knew all this. I had all the answers, all the arguments, all the reasonings but I walked away in silence because one cannot make conversation with someone who is not willing to listen.

DISTANCE

LOVE CAN OVERCOME ALL DISTANCES

ENJOY WHAT YOU DO

I do a tv program a few times a year.
The other day I went for one of the recordings.

The first thing I noticed was the absence of Jay's jubilant greeting voice.
He had always been there in the past, ready with other crew members to set up all the props and arrange the stage according to my directions.

I never knew his exact job title but he did almost everything, taking charge, giving orders. Although he joked about my detail orientation and demanding perfection, I know he enjoyed the learning experience. He understood exactly where I wanted the paintings to go or the sofas to be placed. He paid attention and remembered.
He enjoyed everything he did with a zest.

I could tell from his comments that he really listened to the discussions whenever he would congratulate me at the end of each recording.

There were many other crew members doing their job but Jay was different.
His absence made me miss and think about him.

It's not that there were not others who did his job. The new young chap was energetic and did the job efficiently. Everything went smoothly. The props were set according to my wishes, the camera crew was very proficient. The manager came out to chat with me to make sure all was fine. The recording started on time and I had a hearty discussion with all my guests on the tv show, yet I missed Jay.

Jay was in his sixties but did not look a day older than thirty five. He had a young and lively spirit that enjoyed learning. It was this spirit that I had missed. The spirit that made him do everything with an enthusiasm and a keen interest. This spirit made him different from the others. He poured his heart into his work. He was like any other crew member in that studio but he became prominent and stood out due to that spirit.

It made me realize that we can all leave a mark like Jay. No matter what we do, we should always try to find joy in it. A mere task of setting up a stage becomes art when we really think about it!

SPEND TIME WITH THEM

THEY CAN TEACH US A LOT....SPEND TIME WITH THEM TO APPRECIATE LIFE

They can teach us so much

EMBRACE WHO YOU ARE

Hard Working People

I have very high respect for hard working people.

The private screening of the movie came to an end. 

I noticed the widow in her mid 60s pushing the wheel chair of her 95 yrs old father who lived with her. 

She had brought him to see his favorite classic after finishing a full day at work. 

It was raining hard outside. 

I ran to them to open the door and offered help. 

She gracefully declined. 

I watched them cross the long path to the parking lot... 

She bent over, pushing the chair and he holding the umbrella to cover them both from the downpour. 

They painted a perfect picture of pride, grace and teamwork.

I ain't saying goodbye

I ain't saying goodbye

My friend is moving far away...

I looked at the faded empty spot

Where you took your name away!

I know that you are moving on ...

Still leaving so much else behind!

All the gentle and caring words...

Many of them, said in silent talks!

You have touched so many lives...

In simply being the way you are!!

You can go wherever, my friend...

But you stay, right here with us all.

LOVE IS THE COMMITMENT TO LOVE

They ask me what is love...

Let me tell you what is love!

It is boarding a plane alone...

Leaving every known face behind!

Love is to uphold a father's word...

Given on your behalf, by your own will!

Love is a promise to yourself...

To fulfill each prayer in mother's heart!

Love is that look in a brother's eye..

As he says the final goodbye!

Love is that suppressed cry...

On a sister's lips when she hugs!

Love is the wave of all those hands...

When boarding that plane alone!

Love is leaving for a foreign land...

Love is loving a person unknown...

Love is putting your trust in faith...

Leaving a world for this one man...

Owning his honor, name and pride...

Love is the commitment to that love...

Love is leaving when your heart wants to stay...

Love is staying when all you wanted was to leave...

Love is smiling in the streaming tears...

It's learning every shortcoming and fault...

And kissing it full, on the lips, with a grin!

Love is boarding that plane alone...

Love is never looking back with remorse...

Love is holding hands for life.

SUPERSTITION

Superstition!
It is present in every culture and society. It appears in varying forms and sizes. It affects all ages and generations. It scares, it captures. It frightens, rules and dictates many a lives.
What is it really?

Number thirteen is absent from the row of buttons in many elevators in America. Does that mean that changing the label from thirteen to fourteen takes away it's superstition? And all this time while Americans are shying away from thirteen, Chinese are betting good luck on it and fearing fourteen instead!

Now who in the world would think of fearing a front door entrance? Chinese, of course! They believe the front door entrance to the garden of Ming tombs is the entrance to the other world, the abode of the dead. So what do they do? They enter from side doors! Does that mean that they are not in that other world just by using another means of entrance?

While people in India go back seven steps if a black cat crosses their path, my friends in Europe adopt black kittens as pets. Does that mean that Europeans are buying bad luck on purpose or are they out of their minds?

One of my friends freaks out if a glass breaks and goes hysterical about seven years bad luck while another coolly states that it is a good omen to ward off evil. While rest of the world is content on merely saying "good bye" or "have a safe journey", my one friend goes pale if "...and safe return" is not added at the end, because to her, it implies bad omen as if saying a final farewell.

What is it that makes one thing okay for some and fearful for others? I ask myself!

Like the majority, I always turn to my own self whenever reflecting upon human behavior. I notice that if I'm not careful, it is very easy for me to be influenced by the talk of superstition and omens. For example, when my babies cried and someone said, "oh, the baby got a bad eye", At first I felt like believing it, but then I realized that it was an easy way out. Babies cry for a reason. They cry when they are sick, disturbed or need something. Instead of finding out the cause, it is very easy to quickly blame it on the bad eye. But there's got to be SOME truth in it if so many believe in it. After all, old wisdom always has some deep roots in truth, one might argue.

I think it is all about perceptions. If let loose, it becomes a psychological trap. Once a person starts believing in superstition, his/her mind starts taking him/ her in that direction and invent logic and reasonings to explain quite natural phenomena.

By now, you must have deducted that I, personally, don't believe in superstition, although, I don't object to others indulging in it as it's their personal views and beliefs. The basic reason why I don't believe in superstition is my faith. I believe in one Omnipotent God. I have complete faith in His powers, His decisions and His love. Nothing is above and beyond Him. Everything follows His command and nothing takes place against His will. He has written my destiny and He owns my life. Once I have this complete faith, then there is no room left for giving power to a mere number or the color of an animal to change my fate. If a happiness comes my way, it's His blessing and if, God forbid, a hardship befalls me, it's a trial from Him to test my faith.

A mirror was invented to see the reflections of things in the present, not of future. Salt wasn't refined to be thrown over the shoulder to ward off evil but to be used for consumption. Doors are constructed to be entered, not to be avoided. A crow makes a call because it's a bird, not because someone's going to visit. An eye twitches as a sign of stress or a weak nerve, not because something bad is going to happen.

The thing is that when someone has a fear of a superstition as a bad omen, their fear leads them to act nervously and in that state they might make certain mistakes, the outcome of which furthers their belief. In their condition, they fail to see the link between their own action and reaction and blame the superstition. Such is the nature of us humans that we want to avoid taking responsibility for our own actions that bring misfortunes. We are always willing to get the credit for success and achievements but are always looking for an escape goat for our failures, and superstitions are a ready made, easy solutions at hand.

Some believe in lucky charms. Again, it's the placebo affect at hand that sometimes lead to positive happenings on receiving a lucky charm or good omen. It's the weakness of faith that leads to putting trust in other objects. The person starts relating the good feelings or happy endings with signs or objects and falls in the trap of superstition, from which it is extremely difficult to escape, unless the person consciously makes an effort. Uncountable number of people have been conned by an equally competing number who trapped the gullible souls by introducing them to that "feel good" or "feel lucky" state of mind. The charms industry thrives on the superstition of customers who buy from precious gem stones to horse shoes to penniless stones, in the name of good luck.

Life is a combination of ups and downs. Things happen, things that are out of our control. The belief in superstition is also an attempt at controlling and altering the natural phenomena. Human desire to control every phenomena has led to weird practices. People have invented cults, worshipped all sorts of objects and made horrendous sacrifices under such influences. Only education, wisdom and a conscious effort can help one get out of the talons of superstition.

Ouch

ONCE AGAIN

ONCE AGAIN...

So, you thought...

You got me...

Crushed me on the spot!

Well, look once again, 

My so called friends...

right at my back...

Where you stabbed me...

it is profoundly bleeding...

Yet I'm still breathing!

And...

I'm getting up ...once again...

With a desire...

To live....once again!

So go on, you may...

Sharpen your daggers, my foes...

For, I'm rising up....once again...

With a will of steel!

Dream On

It's always better to have a dream!

She is NOT a piece of meat!

What she does, what she wears, what she becomes IS her choice, her right....

No girl should ever have to deal with stares, catcalls, harassment...bullying...

EDUCATE YOUR HEARTS AND THE EYES WILL RESPECT HER

COMPARISONS

Comparisons.

The current lack of peace has been blamed on many things. It's obvious reason being terrorism, war and economic crisis but there is another silent culprit that's been working quietly for a long time. It is the comparison.

Knowledge is good when it brings wisdom. Exposure serves its purpose when it teaches and improves. Individual advancement is desired for the collective betterment of the masses. Resources are a blessing when utilized to be shared and they benefit everyone.

Today technology has provided us with facilities beyond the imagination of our forefathers. There is a constant stream of new products in all sorts of markets. The world is producing more than ever before. The resources are being tapped to the fullest. Innovative ways and styles, of enjoyment and luxury, are available to the masses. Fast information has raised awareness and brought the whole world within reach of all.

All this is good but there is a serious problem. There is no watch dog. The so called watch dogs have their own agendas. Except a few exceptions, the main driving force behind all this advancement has been monetary gains. Profit driven industries are focusing on their own revenues. They are not concerned about the moral devaluation. There is no moral police in charge. The ones who try are denied the authority. The religious leaders who self nominate themselves for the task are more focused on preaching hate than tolerance. In most cases, they are the ones who are far removed from realities. They preach in a way that alienate people. There are some who actually change what they preach to gain a following. The latter are no better than the former. If the former is rigid, then the latter has no sincerity.

With so much information, exposure and awareness, comparison is inevitable. Comparison means a hidden desire to achieve better. Easy access to personal life details of others have opened the cans of worms in the form of social comparisons. How big is their house? How much are they making? Where did they go for vacation? Where did they sent their kids for education? Who are they meeting? How many likes they got on their Facebook post? How many comments in Twitter?....

Unlimited facilities have made life easy and busy but usually it's unnecessary business. A rat race to out run the others. People are living beyond their means and working overtime to payoff their debts, debts taken for pleasure and leisure, for show off and/or to outdo others. The craze about living in the moment has wiped out the age old wisdom of saving for future. Everyone wants to have it right now, right here! No one has the patience to wait which is at odds with the longer life expectancy. Minds are occupied with fun where responsibility finds no room to dwell.

Everything is conflicting. There is more information but less wisdom, more beauty but less happiness, more facilities but less time. There is abundance of everything but less satisfaction. Values are gone from everything and that has taken peace of minds with it.

Now, this is LOVE

"What was the cause of his untimely demise?"
"Cancer" someone replied through muffled sobs.
"Wouldn't have guessed! Never in my career did any cancer patient have such bright and clean teeth" the mortician went on to explain that usually in the last stages, the patient's gum become so sensitive and infected that brushing is impossible which does further damage to the already chemo effected teeth.

At that moment, every fiber in my body wanted to tell him the reason for that, but I knew that words would fail me. I was well aware of the fact that the only sound that could've escaped my tightly clenched teeth would have been heart rendering screams, and nothing else. How could a person form or lend any sense to sentences or words, whose world is coming apart at that moment? So, I did not say a single thing...but an image kept flashing behind the dense curtain of tears slipping out of my sealed eyes!

The image of my mom ....
beside the skeleton of a man, lying in bed, who was my beloved dad ...
My mom had aged beyond her age in past few months, with deep black circles around her eyes...eyes that were still wet though they had cried beyond their capacity and lips that had paled but were not tired of praying....and her hands....ahhh, I looked at those hands as she sat beside my dying father's ,bed and cleaned his teeth with those caring hands!

My dad spent the last two weeks of his life in the hospital, fighting the horrific fight against cancer, that ultimately took his life. Six months of chemotherapy never worked. My parents fought the battle with all the willpower but it was not enough. I remember my mom telling me that it was as if they were trying to support a crumbling wall by their bare hands. No effort came through and the wall collapsed.

 I had reached my parents' place only two weeks before my father's death. Two days after my arrival, he was admitted to the hospital from where he never came home.

Every day, on my visit to the hospital, I would see my mom clean his teeth, painstakingly, very softly, as if handling the most fragile glass, with her expensive chiffon scarfs. She used her scarfs because those were the softest material and nothing was more valuable than the person on that bed, to her. With extreme care and time, she would gently wipe each and every tooth one by one.

The first day I saw her doing it, she told me that my father was a very religious man. Hygiene is sometimes referred to as one half of the faith, in Islam. Being a devoted Muslim, my father always took good care of hygiene and cleanliness. His teeth were always sparking like peals due to the habit of brushing after each meal. He followed his beloved Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) example who loved to brush and keep his teeth clean.

Mom said,"your father loved and always kept his teeth clean. Now that he has no strength to lift his arm, I will do his work for him" and continued her delicate task.

The story does not end here. There was much more to it than that. She had said that my father was a very pious man, and she was right. Yes, he was but so was she. They both loved their religion and their Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him).

Prophet Mohammad (Peace be upon him) died at the age of 63 years. He was sick in his last days and was unable to get up. His companions would call upon him to convey regards and greetings. One day his brother in law visited him for the purpose. Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) was extremely weak by this time lying in fever. His worried wife Ayesha (God bless her) was cradling his head in her lap. Ayesha's brother was holding a Miswak in his hand as he entered the room. Miswak is a special tree branch used as a toothbrush. It is narrated by Ayesha (God bless her) that she saw her beloved husband, Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) looking longingly at the Miswak. She understood the meaning as he had not been able to get up and brush his teeth while bed ridden.

Ayesha (God bless her) asked her brother for that Miswak and softened its dry bristles with her own teeth. Once satisfied that it was no longer coarse, she gave it to Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him), who cleaned his teeth with it. That was the last act that he performed before death as soon after, his condition worsened and he left this mortal world to meet his Lord. As per tradition of all Prophets, Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) was buried at the spot of his death, that is, in the living quarter of Ayesha (God bless her).

So you see, for me, my pious mom and dad not only believed but practiced their beliefs by trying to follow the traditions of Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him). Seeing my mom clean my dad's teeth always refreshed the incident of Prophet Mohammad (peace be upon him) and Ayesha (God bless her) in my mind. Like Ayesha (God bless her), my mom dotted on her husband and when he was unable to, aided and performed his duties. My father's teeth were pearly white in death because of the love of the woman who spent almost three decades as his life partner. They had a strict arranged marriage. They had not even seen a picture of  or heard voice of each other before the wedding night, yet theirs is the best love story that I witnessed. They loved each other for the sake of their Lord. The love of religion brought them closer to each other and showed in every deed they performed. They taught me the best values by example. They showed me not only how to love but how to  practice and honor that love.

The BEAUTY of CHINA!

The beauty of China!

No, it's not the Bund with its majestic high rises that enchant everyone with their structure during day and with their lights at night nor is it the Great Wall that never fails to awe the world generation after generation. Neither is it the Forbidden City with its mythic history and tails....!

All these and much more like Terra-cotta Warriors, The Ming dynasty tombs, The Temple of God, The Silk Road, etc are great treasures and unique in their beauty but to me the most beautiful thing about this most populated country of the world is the simplicity of her people.

They laugh easily and readily like innocent children. There is a clarity in their characters that remind me of crystal vases which are clear, delicate, solid in their form and ready to be filled with bunches of flowers and water. No matter what you put in those vases, the structure of the vase remains the same but shows whatever goes inside. They can be heavy yet breakable simultaneously.

Chinese people are like those vases. They adapt very easily, always ready to learn. They are extremely reluctant to take the initiative but are excellent followers, (perhaps one of the reason China produces a copy of everything made anywhere else around the world). They keep a watchful eye on outsiders and strangers but give them room to maneuver.

There is a shyness about them as they are very self conscious around others but at the same time they never hesitate to ask questions that arise. They are vulnerable and anchored at the same time.

There is a contentedness in their nature that comes from lack of high ambitions. They dream but their dreams are real. They don't try to steal the dreams of others. They live in their world and work hard to live in it. I have often heard that they work like ants which is, in fact, given as a compliment. Yes, they do what they have to do, no questions asked. They don't complain about their circumstances, they improvise and strive to survive.

Centuries of oppression has left its mark. They are afraid to think outside the box. The fact that the Chinese government controls and regulates everything snubs the growth of individualization. They move in masses and stick to each other. At the same time, there is an instinct of survival at work to look after themselves within those masses. There is a certain kind of selfishness combined with shortsightedness that is often found in villagers. It exists due to lack of exposure and absence of greed. Their desires are contained and they are happy with who they are but they have to look after themselves. China's one child policy has given rise to an inbred loneliness which has introduced a buddy system. Chinese people enjoy the company of their peers and their friendships are enduring but at the end of the day, they only think and tend to their own personal needs and wishes.

One admiring characteristic is sincerity. They do not cheat on their friends. It was my personal experience that Chinese students always stayed together and helped each other out. They always exchanged notes with one another but never with non Chinese students. Within China, I have observed how they help each other within friendly circles but tend to cheat others. They do not hide their sources from friends. Women are not threatened if their friends wear or use the exact same product like them. They enjoy similarities, something very unique to them and quite rare anywhere else in the rest of the world.

They are good friends to non Chinese but best friends to only their own, i.e. Chinese. Patriotism and national pride runs deep in their veins. A long history of seclusion has made them wary of others and the  recent exposure to the outside world is welcomed with a cautious eye by the elders. They are probably right in their fears as the influx of foreign currency and influence is rapidly changing their ancient ways and Western values are quickly tainting the infamous Eastern traditions.

MY SOLITUDE AND I

OH HOW I WAIT FOR THEE!

A smile in her eyes...

Desire...there's no end to it!

Desire...there's no end to it. It's the enchanting mirage that allures each and all throughout life. Mystics call it a web and philosophers an illusion but we all run after it.

It's the multi faceted character that both makes it "desirable" and distasteful. Desire has motivated countless to work, exert and achieve. It has also ruined, hurt and destroyed in no less magnitudes.

Desire in itself is neither good nor bad. It's a feeling and like any other feeling, can be the spring board for action. The uniqueness of desire lies in its never ending and constantly altering form. People spend a lifetime pursuing a desire but the minute they achieve the goal, instead of dying, desire finds a new life and a new object to be pursued.

Perhaps the most common desire since beginning has been to know the future because future can tell the outcome of desires. People do strange things in order to fulfill this desire. They throw coins in water fountains, blow candles, find gypsies and/or fortune tellers. They blow on dandelions and put faith in the drifting petals. They  look for rainbows, count clover leaves and even break bones......! Do these things work? Who knows! Perhaps they do, perhaps not.

Religion often forbids such practices, calling it superstition. Religion preaches acceptance and acceptance is a difficult thing, especially when things don't make sense. Human mind understands the link between effort and result hence a certain outcome is expected when attempts are made and energies are spent. Questions arise when the outcome does not match the input which is very often. We do know that despite everything, things might go wrong or not work out accordingly due to extraneous factors. In the absence of religion, we try to define and control those extraneous factors. This desire to control leads to an endless pursuit. It's addicting like gambling. Ask anyone who has believed in superstition and they can tell you how hard it is to get rid of that belief or superstition.

Religion teaches acceptance. Acceptance, once truly achieved, brings peace and closure. It doesn't mean not to pursue lawful desires or exert efforts. It means to settle down with the undesired or unexpected outcome even when everything was done accordingly. It tells of letting go and have faith that not all scores are settled immediately or right here and certainly not by us. There is a higher Authority that's keeping record and will render the just verdict according to each and every intention and effort.

Once one believes in that High Power and have faith that Almighty knows all and will justify all, then there is no room left for psychics or horoscope readings. Coins and more is given to the needy rather than thrown in the fountains. Peace prevails instead of heartburn and humility replaces frustrations.

Why Pray?

"I always pray to God but I do not get what I want"
The child looked at me with those big huge innocent eyes and stated.
I was at a loss for proper words for a few seconds. For me, it is very important to always satisfy children's curiosity with sincerity and truth. Sincerity, because children are very apt at smelling deception, and truth, because whatever you tell them is going to stay in their minds and shape their logical thinking.

As I explained to the child, it dawned on me as to how often we, adults, get trapped in the same pattern. It's our insolent self that takes everything for grated and questions whatever is denied.

We pray not because God needs it, but because WE need it. It's a reminder for us not to forget Who is The Lord. Praying keeps us anchored. It's our bliss. It's a gift from God to us through which we can communicate with Him. Without prayers, our souls are at a loss. It's our compass that tells us Who to turn to.

Prayer is not a call button that is expected to be answered immediately. It's also not to get God attentive. He is always attentive. He knows what is in our hearts, what is our need and what is in our lives. A prayer is an effort on our own part to bring peace in our lives. It reminds us that God is Omnipresent and Omnipotent.

Praying is our duty. Fulfillment of that duty brings satisfaction. It does not mean that we will immediately get what we asked for. In fact, we might never get it at all, but praying and supplications to the Almighty ensures our hearts that we told Him our need, which He already knew but we showed Him through our praying that we worship Him and Him alone and accept whatever He chooses for us, for He knows best.

We keep forgetting the purpose of our lives on earth. This life is a temporary abode and the sole reason for our existence is to serve our Creator by worshiping Him. Satan allures us through temptations to forget our duty towards our Lord. Prayer and constant prayer keep reminding us about our duty and hence saves us from neglect. It's our savior. It's our safeguard against temptations.

The Climb!

A few men had gathered their youngsters and taken them for rock climbing. They took a little break in a small clearing and that's when I looked back in the valley. My mother's bright smile immediately drew my attention to the red and white checkered floor mats on which she was sitting among other ladies with unpacked picnic baskets. Small children and infants were playing near their mothers who were enjoying a relaxed chatter. I watched my mother. She always had a heart warming smile on her face. My aunt used to call her smile the light of a bright star that shines on a moonless clear night. Someone must have said something witty as her smile turned into a pearly laughter and I felt its magic reach over as the corners of my own lips started stretching upwards in response to that laughter.

With a grin, I turned my head slightly to the left to look at the youngsters playing outdoor games under the watchful eyes of grand parents relaxing nearby. Their excited voices and bubbly laughter sounded like echoes of a dancing spring that runs it's course over coarse rocks and stones free of all worries and cares. Youth has a similar energy and attitude towards life and that's why elders of senior generations are always there to watch and offer the aid and advice of their experiences.

I turned back to follow my own father who had resumed the climb. He stretched his hand to pull and help me climb a rather big step. As a child, I complained to him about the difficulty of going up. I thought coming down was always easier than going up. He contradicted me saying that although more energy is needed going up, it is still easier because the focus is on the steps as it's difficult to look up and climb. This focus keeps one determined and safe. He pointed out that one cannot go up while constantly looking backwards.

We kept on climbing. By now, I was getting restless. I wasn't sure how far we had to go. Other fathers with kids older than me, had gone farther and I could not see them. My father calmly explained that very often the destination is not visible until one reaches the end.
He asked me if we should return. I said no because I wanted to catch up with the rest of the party. Plus I did not want the older kids to think any less of me. So we continued. Shortly afterwards we met the rest who were taking a break at another spot. The fathers agreed that it was enough exercise for the kids and decided to return from that spot. This is when my father explained to me that sometimes, we, ourselves have to decide where to end the climb when there is no end in sight.

I had to keep on getting my father's help and assistance when climbing down. At every other step, I felt like slipping and falling forward. Again, my father explained that the climb down is always much faster than the climb up but more dangerous as focus keep shifting to the distance below and there are more chances of a slip and fall. The speed and momentum makes it look easier but add danger.

I thought to myself that difficult things seem to demand more but are comparatively safe while ease comes with many hidden dangers and cautions. I was listening and all the while noticing how faster we were covering the distance coming down. It had taken us almost double or more time going up

My father continued that the key factor is to maintain the speed. Often climbers pick up speed at the start of the journey when the excitement is at the peak and adrenaline is rushing but soon tire themselves out. Starting moderately and maintaining the speed can take one much farther. I listened closely and kept on climbing after him.

The scene has changed, in fact, life has changed ever since. Years have gone by! My father is no more, the elders are gone and the kids of that time have kids of their own .... but I'm still climbing after my dad, listening to his voice!