Monday, March 23, 2015

I know what you did!



He was on the stretcher in a room. It was temporary because the staff had gone to arrange for the room and paperwork with my mom and brother. I and my husband were with him. 

He asked for water. There was no water in the room.
 His wish was always my command. 

I looked in the corridor everywhere, there was no water fountain. I was conscious of my non covered head. I came back. Begged my husband to go further, ask someone for water. He was reluctant. I insisted. He went. 
I could see dad trying to say something. He could not talk. I could not understand. I was frantic. My father had asked me for water and I was not able to get it for him. 
My husband went and came back empty handed. I tried to convince him to go once again. 

I noticed father was using every bit of energy to say something. He said ... You go.
I could not stop. I forgot everything. Like an insane person, I ran in every direction.
Saw cafeteria sign. Went in there. Asked for water. I thought it would be free. The guy said I had to pay. I told him I could pay later. He would not listen. I told him about my dad. He won't understand saying hospital should provide for the patient.

I ran back to the room. Asked my husband for money. He had a credit card. I ran back with the card. The guy said they did not take cards. I was going out of my mind. I took out my engagement ring, gave it to him, begging him for a bottle of water. He returned the ring with the water. Said keep both.

I started running, shouting back that I would pay for it as soon as I get the money from home. Which I did.

I put the bottle to dad's mouth. He barely wet his lips. 
I was thinking. He could not drink. He MADE me get it. 
He knew I would get it at all costs. 
He was trying to teach me not to rely on anyone. 
Not to depend on any other. 
He was sending a message. 
He could not talk. 
He did not know if I would ever get the letter he had written two years ago and which was buried in his files. 

I knew at that moment, seeing him look at me, what he had done!He had shown me my own capability. 
I had done what my own could not. 
He had shown me my own determination and resolve.
He was trying to teach me to rely on my own judgement and power.
He was telling me I could do anything I wanted if I tried.
                                                                                         Shamsa Anwar











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