Daughter of China!

To me, every pregnant woman in China is a terrified woman as I learnt a few years back. Two of my friends in China were pregnant at the same time. Both ladies had only one thing on their minds. They both wanted nothing but a son. I could detect fear in the eyes of the younger one every time she asked me to pray for her to have a son. It was a fear of carrying a daughter. Doctors are no longer allowed to disclose the gender of the unborn child since every couple used to abort the female fetuses.

No one in China wants a daughter. China's one child per couple policy at that time meant only one shot at parenthood for most. This policy is now modified to allow two kids if one of the parents has no siblings but most couples do not want another  child due to very high cost of raising a child. Usually men get to have more children if they get out of a relationship and form a new one with another. The child becomes the responsibility of the mother and no man is going to marry the mother of a child, especially a daughter as one of my friends came to know the hard way.

This friend of mine was working outside China for some time when she met another Chinese man. They fell in love and she became pregnant with a promise to get married on their return to homeland. As it turned out, the old folks were right when they used to warn their daughters about guys not wanting to buy cows that give free milk. The guy ditched the mother and daughter on their return to homeland, married another woman and fathered a son with her.

My friend lives with her mother and daughter. Her widowed mother blames my friend's daughter for ruining her daughter (child's mother's) life as no one is ever going to marry her now. She is stuck with raising a daughter in a society where no one wants a girl.

It is through and through a patriarch society. My husband feels like a prince there while I have to grit my teeth on many occasions. Not a single time, not even by mistake, have I ever been served before my husband over there. The hostesses in the restaurants never look at me to take orders. They always expect my husband to order the meal. Many a times I've seen girls spoon feeding the boys on dates. The women bend over backwards to please and accommodate men while men act like they are God's special favor to them in life.

Another thing that really gets on my nerves at times is the women's nudging habit. I would be walking on a spacious walkway and wham! Out of the blue would come a  lady from behind and elbow me on her way. It has happened a lot and I can assure you that they don't specifically target me. It is the way of life for them. The women would not elbow any man but think nothing of nudging a woman on their way while trying to make way and cut pass her.

There is so much insecurity among women. They want to cling on to a man very badly and fear other women. A woman dating a man automatically attains high status among peers. The security that tying the knot used to bring is highly undermined in recent years as divorce rate is on the rise. The Western concept of living together without ties is becoming popular along with an increase in female anxieties. No wonder no woman wants to give birth and bring another woman in this world of insecurities!