Beware of thy FRIENEMIES

Frienemies!
The backstabbing friends we all have!

Frienemies are more common among girls than boys. It's not that men don't back bite, back stab or play Judas, it's just that girls are more into it. Don't get me wrong and hold your horses before you jump into that heated argument.

Men and women are both, equally capable of any sort of human emotion and reaction. They share similar feelings and sentiments. I'm not stereotyping but trying to state a general observation. In my personal opinion, there is more betrayal among girl friends than boy friends and the basic reason is insecurity.

Today's woman is more independent, aware, and knowledgeable yet still very insecure. This insecurity is inherent in her nature. She has a history of suppression that puts her forever on guard and then there is her physicality.

Women's biology assigns that insecurity. The ticking clock is a reality more dominant in woman's world and men don't waste any opportunity to remind them of this eminent threat.

In the past, women were insecure because they were dependents. Men abused their financial hold on them. Patriarchal societies treated them like commodities with no brains. The so called women liberation in the recent past has brought in equal opportunities for education, work and independence everywhere but has increased the pressures many folds.

No matter how educated, advanced in her career or financially secure a woman might be, she always yearn for emotional security. In general, this security comes in the form of a man in her life. Nature made her and him that way! Nature prepares the girl and the boy for a sexual relationship at puberty for the sake of reproduction. We, humans like to mess up with nature and her rules. Physically, boys and girls are ready but societies are not. The society rules that they are not mature enough to handle responsibility. They should first finish their education, find a job, get established and then settle down. By the time they are ready to settle down, the women can clearly hear that ticking sound.

Denying the nature messes up everything. Frustrations arise in societies that look down or enforce laws against sexual freedom. In such societies women are usually repressed and boys are cut slack as they need to find some "relief". Finding a husband is still the number one priority for every Eastern woman till date. Social dramas develop as women try to hold reins of the men in their lives in the roles of mothers, sisters, daughters, wives etc.

The fate of Western women wasn't much different till recently. The much touted women liberation movement was based on the invention of contraceptives and brought sexual freedom. New doors opened to self expression and exertion but all this led to new problems. Wide spread STDs, teenage pregnancies and sexual experimentation set aside, the biggest issue is the sense of responsibility that marriage brings in a sexual relationship which got compromised in all this hype. The girls want steady relationships and a life partner by their nature but boys don't want to settle down. In retaliation, the latest trend among women is to deny this natural tendency altogether. Many do not want to be bound to one or by marriage. But deep down they know that something is amiss, something is not natural.

These pressures and frustrations make women insecure and this insecurity is the root cause of all back stabbing. It brings out the defensiveness that lashes out for self protection.