She was the most miserable woman I ever met. Life had dealt her a harsh hand but at the same time she was saved and blessed many times over. My heart bled for her pain and loss but more for her inability to count her blessings.
I observed her dwell in misery. She looked very lonely to me in her own selfish world in life and later died an unhappy person. Her memory always makes me think of what could have been!
She could've come out of self pity and found bliss in things that she already had.
She could've channelled her own vulnerable emotions into empathy and become more compassionate towards others.....but, alas, she did not choose to do any such thing.
All she did was focus on what was denied to her in life and that made her a very bitter person.
She gave me a lesson by her example.
She taught me to be wary of self pity. It's a quicksand that sucks one in.
People forget to see beyond their own selves in pain. Self pity and self misery come easy but are hard to overcome. A person blinded by such emotions cannot listen to logic or reasoning and no one can put sense into such a person except self help. A willingness and internal effort are needed to break free of this trap. No one's life is perfect. To each individual, their set of problems seem huge but it's all about perception. People perceive their own hardships as gigantic but tend to reduce others' in magnitude. They compare their lives with the ones they believe to be better and waste lives envying them. Comparison and envy breed self pity. Religion and faith systems try to teach contentment and hope that bring peace.
Happiness is a learned attitude either learned growing up or self taught by wisdom and thought process. Lucky are the ones who grow up in an environment that teaches appreciation of life, relations and gratitude. Such people grow up with an internal peace that keeps them anchored throughout life, but such environment is no guarantee of a cheerful disposition as sometimes very complex people emerge out of very positive households too. But generally, a good moral environment does produce positive effects.
A mature person is a combination of childhood influences, personality traits and personal choices. A mature, rational person is open to learning and improvement at any age in life and learns by observation while benefiting from the experiences of others. Wisdom teaches one that counting the blessings at every step ensures happiness in life. Looking at the less fortunate brings gratitude and helping others grants satisfaction.
Have you ever seen devoted volunteers? They have a tranquility in their hearts because they rise above themselves and reach out to others in need. Caring for others is a priceless joy. It lends purpose to life and fill the heart of helper and receiver with contentment and gratitude.
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